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Archive for the ‘Weak’ Category

ESPN Borrows Liberally From Vegas Watch

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The Worldwide Leader is getting really good at talking out of both sides of their mouths. On one hand, they dis and dismiss the sports blogosphere like we are bunch of mongoloids, but at the same time, when they need some content for ESPN: The Magazine (SI, much?), they have no problem taking it from the very people they try to mock.

Nicely done, guys. What’s next, are you going to write a book called “God Save the Worldwide” and point out how sports blogs have ruined ESPN?

Dana Jacobson Returns, Apologizes

Roast-master supreme Dana Jacobson has returned to the ESPN fold after some comments she made at a celebrity roast for Mike and Mike (have they responded to Whitlock’s critique?) resulted in Jacobson being served with a one-week suspension. To celebrate her return to the mighty Worldwide Leader, Dana issued an apology for her Belvedere-fueled behavior.

Much ado about nothing? It was a roast for crying out loud…

Player of the Weak: Greg Paulus and Mike Patrick

There isn’t a lot of love for the Duke Blue Devils outside of Cameron Indoor Stadium and after viewing this video posted by Awful Announcing of Paulus’ actions against Florida State last night, it’s easy to see why:

Of course, ESPN’s Mr. ACC, Mike Patrick, comes to the defense of Paulus like it’s his son out there on the floor. Thank goodness Jay Bilas was there to point out the fact that during the first incident, the Florida State player didn’t do anything that warranted Paulus’ flopping around like a fish out of water. The second incident looked like a result of the match-up getting testy as players were wrestling around for a loose ball.

Naturally, while Patrick is trying to point out the ills of Ryan Reid (“He threw a punch!!!” No Mike, he did not.), Mr Paulus looks like he’s trying to kick another Florida State player. You stay classy, Greg. It kinda sucks being an instigator and getting roughed up as a result, doesn’t it?

Much to Patrick’s delight, Duke wound up beating the Seminoles, 70-57. Mr Irrelevant has more on this very subject.

Player of the Weak: Saint Louis Billikens

I’m not sure if this is what Rick Majerus had in mind when he took over for the Billikens, but this is what he got: a team that can only muster SEVEN POINTS in one half of basketball (and only 13 in the other). According to ESPN’s segment (thanks for the embeddable video… jerks), Saint Louis went a whooping 54 minutes between baskets in a 49-20 loss to George Washington.

Rick Majerus

Understand, this is real time, not game clock time and 20 of those minutes were dedicated to halftime, where the Billikens weren’t on the floor (thankfully). However, that leaves 34 real time minutes of basketball (which equates to about 10-12 minutes on the basketball clock) between made baskets.

And I thought UK’s offense was ineffective…

To their credit, the Billikens almost doubled their first half output by scoring 13 points. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps. Well, that and minor victories. ;)

Ashley JuddAs for the greatness that is Majerus, he simply said, “We have some issues in terms of our offensive proficiency.” Gee Rick, Do ya think so? Anyway, I prefer to remember Ricky Rick like this–while working as an ESPN analyst, Majerus had some interesting thoughts about Kentucky’s unoffical mascot, Ashley Judd:

“Well, there’s not much to look forward to from here on out, so I’m trying to find Ashley Judd in the crowd. It beats the adult videos at the hotel.”

Update (12:17pm): Great find by Black Heart Gold Pants concerning Saint Louis’ excellence in basketball offensive execution: the 69 combined points from GW and STL was less than eleven of the bowl games we just spent an entire month watching.

Oh yeah, the Billikens’ 20-point outburst set a Division I record for fewest points in a game in the modern era. Kudos are indeed in order. Did Rick Majerus channel the Washington Generals before the game started?

Player of the Weak: Missed Goals Edition

One of the things I love about ushering in a new year are the recaps from the year that was. You know, things like the top-10 dunks of 2007, the best plays, so on and so forth. So you can imagine my joy when I ventured over to The Offside and saw their post for Worst Misses of All Time, focusing on the sport of soccer… or is it football?

The video has some great footage of attempts on goal gone awry–really, really, awry. So the next time you miss that breakaway lay-up in your basketball rec league or drop the pop fly in your softball bar league, don’t feel bad. Even the pros screw it up sometimes and in some cases, their miscues are much more egregious than you can imagine. That is, until you see the video.

Personally, I love watching all the reactions from the players who missed so badly. Anyway, congratulations to all the players that made this video possible. You are this week’s (and the first of 2008) cumulative Player of the Weak.

Player of the Weak: Anthony Smith

Anthony SmithThere’s an old adage that says, “never let your mouth write checks your body can’t cash,” which is something Pittsburgh Steelers safety Anthony Smith discovered after the New England Patriots finished their systematic beatdown of the Steelers yesterday by the score of 34-13. At the center of the whipping was the guarantee issued by Smith earlier in the week when he said Pittsburgh would indeed beat the undefeated Patriots on the Pats’ home field.

As the final score revealed, Smith’s tactics backfired as New England stayed in attack mode after the outcome had been decided. As expected, Smith’s guarantee was on the minds of New England’s players during the post-game interviews and they were happy to remind Smith he was the one who had to face his teammates after running his mouth like that.

Not only did the Patriots have issues with Smith’s prognostication abilities, they also victimized him with two deep scoring passes that took advantage of his coverage skills. Pats wide receiver Jabar Gaffney, who caught a touchdown pass because of Smith’s misjudgment, had this to say:

“He basically called us out,” said Patriots wide receiver Jabar Gaffney, who caught one of four Tom Brady touchdown passes and one of the two on which the Patriots obviously went after Smith like sharks converging on chum. “He’s young. He’ll learn.”

Congratulations, Anthony. Not only did you words fire-up a team that may be one of the best ever in the NFL’s long history, your “guarantee” put you in the running for this blog’s prestigious award. During a weekend that saw the University of Kentucky basketball team play like utter **** against Indiana and the horrific performance the Ravens displayed against the Colts last night, your words of wisdom separated you from the pack.

Anthony Smith, you are this week’s winner of the Player of the Weak award. Be sure to wear this distinction with pride. Before you go, be sure and enjoy the video of Brady/Moss “flea-flicker.” Smith is number 27 and he winds up on the ground while Gaffney goes into the end zone unopposed. Hat-tip to The Sporting Blog for finding the video.

An Open Letter to Stephen A. Smith

Dear Mr. A. Smith,

Stephen A.Would you please help yourself to a nice cup of STFU?

In the midst of losing your WHORE-RI-BBLE television show, your weekly column for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and providing the type of analysis that makes people yearn for the return of David Aldridge, you have the audacity to target and challenge sports bloggers; indicating we are a “wreckless” [sic] ilk that doesn’t answer to anybody and that our information is “dangerous.”

Your problem revolves around the fact that a great deal of sports bloggers don’t have any credentials to speak of (a debatable point) and therefore, we shouldn’t be allowed to wax poetic about sports or the figures that inhabit them, presumably including the Mouth that Roared. What’s the matter, Stephen? Are you scared of some lowly bloggers?

What kind of threat do we pose, exactly? Could it be that there are some talented writers out there that see the game as well or better than you do and aren’t afraid to speak their minds (without the constrains of a multinational news corporation, admittedly)? Are you jealous of the freedom we have? If so, start your own damn blog and quit trying to break the backs of those that keep you in the media’s eye.

Speaking of credentials, what, exactly, gave you the qualifications to host your own TV talk show? You certainly aren’t any good on television, regardless of what ESPN’s upper management says. Why should you be allowed to try–and fail–at the talk show circuit? How much training in the field of broadcasting do you have… and please don’t say you analyze basketball on TV. WTH does that have to do with hosting a talk show?

Stephen A., you speak of bloggers being harmful to the common viewers. How? Quantify this statement with some examples and not just your unending amount of hot air. How, exactly, does a blogger hurt a reader who CHOOSES to patronize a particular blog? Are we now kidnapping our readers, forcing them to read the half-truths and outright lies posted by every sports blog ever created?

No, it seems that your problem is with the fact that most of the sports blogosphere just doesn’t like you and we aren’t afraid to drag up embarrassing moments to further our agenda of making you look even more foolish than when you yell at the TV for no apparent reason (seriously, does anything the Knicks do surprise you to the point of having to yell at viewers and co-hosts alike).

Stephen A., a word of advice: Before you turn that shotgun at the sports bloggers of the world, you may want to ask yourself why things like your Inquirer column and your ill-fated television show got taken away from you. Perhaps you’ll find your problem is not with us. It’s with yourself.

Take care and best wishes,

Chris Richardson

PS: If you do decide to answer, try to do so without using your Blackberry.

Player of the Weak: Eli Manning

There were a number of nominees for this week’s Player of the Weak award, but only one stunk it up so bad their performance has fans hoping for an almost-300 pound replacement. Mr. Eli Manning, come on down. Your pathetic performance against Minnesota yesterday cemented your spot in the Intentional Foul Hall of Fame.

Normally, I’m not one to pile on somebody, but Eli was so spectacularly bad, it’s hard not to join in with the bashing. While I was driving back to Kansas City from Lexington, Kentucky yesterday afternoon, the Sunday sports radio shows were absolutely crucifying Peyton’s brother and some hosts were even calling for back-up Jared Lorenzen—also known as the Pillsbury Throwboy—to get his chance at leading the New York Football Giants.

Now, this seems a little drastic considering just how many injured offensive players the Giants have but when you lose 41-17, stat lines like these leave a whole lot to be desired:

21-of-49 for 273 yards, 1 touchdown and 4 interceptions – 3 of which were returned for touchdowns.

I should probably remind you the Giants were also playing at home… againt a Minnesota team ranked dead last in the NFL when it comes to defending the pass. Displaying a masterful control of understatement, Eli offered these thoughts about his play against a team known more for their injured running back than their defensive prowess against the pass:

When you throw four interceptions, it’s never a good day…

Gee Eli, ya think? Anyway, congratulations on your well-deserved award. I know the Giants fans appreciate the effort.

Eli Manning