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Archive for January, 2010

Nice Mugshot, Rey

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Rey Maualuga

Apparently, Kenton County in Kentucky is THE place to be. Just ask pro wrestlers Chris Jericho and Greg Helms, as well as Rey Maualuga of the Cincinnati Bengals. Jericho and Helms were arrested for an alcohol-related incident on the morning of January 27th, and two mornings later, Maualuga was arrested for driving under the influence, which is, of course, alcohol-related as well.

Obviously, the party spot in the Northern Kentucky/lower-Cincinnati area is in Kenton County. Who knew?

So far, the Bengals haven’t issued any word related to punishment for their rookie linebacker; although, expect this to change rather quickly once more details are revealed and the law has taken its course.

In other news, Maualuga’s wearing an awesome smirk in his mug shot photo.

I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

Scottie Reynolds Deserves Mention, Too


Over at Sports Untapped, I’m discussing whether or not Villanova’s Scottie Reynolds deserves Player of the Year nods. Considering his body of work, it’s hard to deny he’s every bit as valuable as John Wall or Evan Turner. While those two might become better NBA players than Reynolds, the PoY award doesn’t go to the player that will be the best NBA player. It goes to the most effective, valuable player in college basketball.

Just ask Jay Wright where Reynolds fits in such a picture.

Landon Donovan’s First EPL Goal


Donovan looks like he’s finally making the best of his European jaunts. The word from Everton concerning Donovan has been much better than past loans:

Magnificent performance from Everton, and a good performance from that man there, Landon Donovan,” Stewart Robson, co-commentator, IMG feed for international audience.

Couple this with the positive news about Charlie Davies and Clint Dempsey, Team USA’s confidence for the 2010 World Cup should be growing exponentially.

The Things We Do For Super Bowl Tickets

Vasectomy Kit

Let’s face it, people will do just about anything to go to and/or enjoy the Super Bowl. Whether it’s offering themselves as date (Sarah Spain), or as human toilets; you name it, people have probably been willing to do it for tickets to the NFL’s championship game. In fact, being the troopers that they are, Cracked.com put together a list of the most pathetic attempts to get Super Bowl tickets, but thanks the awesomeness of Craiglist, it looks like we have another one for Cracked to consider.

This latest attempt finds a desperate man trying his hardest to follow his New Orleans Saints. So much, in fact, he’s offering something rather personal in return: His left nut. Observe:

High capacity, O negative, well traveled, well maintained, larger than average, only used for @ 22 years! (was in storage before that)
1 available!
History of producing blond haired Caucasian males inclined towards joining the military. (1 army, 1 marine) (results may vary!)
All sales are final!!
Will complete transaction after the game! (and I’ll need a ride to the airport and help on a plane!)
Pictures/documentation available upon request.
No perverts!!!!!

To me, the “No perverts” is simply a touch of class that brings the entire thing together, much like a nice bass line. So, if you have Super Bowl tickets to spare and are perhaps needing to upgrade your reproductive organs, there’s someone out there with you in mind.

The New Jersey Nets *Gasp* Won?


When an NBA team is 44 games into their season before they get their fourth win, it’s newsworthy. Welcome to the 2010 New Jersey Nets, who finally got their first win of the new year by beating the Los Angeles Clippers, 103-87. Now their record stands at sterling 4-40.

Four wins and forty losses.

It’s hard to put into words the level of futility that’s been on display from the Nets, but hey, a win’s a win. Who knows, maybe this will launch the Nets on a 38-game winning streak, of course, the team would still be below .500, but hey, who’s counting (besides those pesky league standings keepers)? Terrence Williams — who is experiencing something of a rookie letdown since he joined the Association — provided highlight(s) for this rare Nets victory:


As for the Nets, the win is their first since December 30, when they beat the New York Knicks. That was preceded by the December 8th win against the Chicago Bulls. The Nets’ initial win came against on December 4th against the Charlotte Bobcats.

That’s it. That’s the list.
/Kornheiser

As an example of the Nets’ futility, a comparison: As indicated, the Nets have four wins all season. Conversely, in the last 12 days (starting from January 16th), the Cleveland Cavaliers have won six games.

If the Nets want to avoid eclipsing the 1972 Philadelphia 76ers for worst NBA record ever, they have their work cut out for them. The 76ers record was a paltry 9-73, meaning New Jersey need six wins in their final 38 games. Considering the Nets have only won four out of 44, I’d say the odds are against them.

South Carolina Fined For Storming

Gamecock Storm

Beat the newly-minted number one team and storm the floor to celebrate a potentially season-saving win? That’s a fining. That’s right, the University of South Carolina’s victory over Kentucky is going to cost them $25,000, all because the fans went on the floor to join in on the fun of their team celebrating such a big win.

Granted, it’s the rule of the SEC, but are those who run the conference overstepping their purpose here? Is it really necessary to punish a school just because their students wanted to enjoy the victory?.

For what it’s worth, here are the SEC rules about storming the floor:

The policy, approved by all 12 SEC institutions, imposes financial penalties for violations in the sports of football, men’s and women’s basketball. Institutional penalties are $5,000 for a first offense, $25,000 for a second offense and $50,000 for third and subsequent offenses. If an institution is penalized and subsequently does not have a violation for a period of three years (from the date of the most recent violation), that subsequent violation shall be considered a 2nd offense.

Apparently, all of that football money isn’t sufficient.

Of course, if you would’ve asked South Carolina officials before the game with Kentucky tipped whether or not they’d pay $25K to ensure a win, you probably would’ve received a “yes” answer. With that in mind, I’m guessing the fine will be money well spent, especially when you consider the kind of buzz the Gamecocks are getting — well, at least Devan Downey.

No, Obama Did Not Jinx UK

Eric Bledsoe

Dear Kentucky fans,

Barrack Obama did NOT jinx your beloved Wildcats yesterday with his congratulatory phone call for the team’s efforts with Haitian relief. I know letting your disappointment from last night’s loss manifest itself into Obama-blaming is the vogue thing to do, but please, lets show a little bit of common sense before going off on such tangents.

Did memories somehow become shorter? Or did North Carolina, you know, the team Obama picked to win the National Championship last season, have their championship taken away? Did his support somehow create a “you lost even though you won” type of jinx?

Considering the levels of abject disapproval for the current President — warranted and/or tea-bagger-created — it wouldn’t be surprising if these kinds of thoughts actually existed.

No, instead of projecting blame onto the idea of something, why not try placing it directly where it belongs: The missed layups by Darnell Dodson and Eric Bledsoe. Patrick Patterson’s second half disappearing act. Having only three players — John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins and Eric Bledsoe — score in the second half. Getting outrebounded by an SEC team who ranks dead last in the conference for rebounding margin.

Any of those will do, because that’s not the way a newly-minted number one team is supposed to play.

Oh, the inability to at least SLOW DOWN Devan Downey might be a contributing factor as well. In fact, if Obama does get any blame whatsoever; I mean, I’m sure his call did go the teams’ head, the level he receives is minuscule when compared to the rest of the contributing factors.

Signed,

Your friends at Intentional Foul.

The Sad Face of Favre Failure

FAVREPALM

The New Orleans Saints are going to the Super Bowl and for all you Saints fans out there, allow me to greet you with a hearty “WHO DAT?” because, as we now know, the “dat” won’t be Brett Favre or the Minnesota Vikings. The reasons why the Vikings aren’t going are being debated pretty heavily. Who gets the blame? Brad Childress? Adrian Peterson? Bernard Berrian? The referees for utterly gagging in the overtime? Brett Favre?

There’s plenty of it to go around, but one thing’s for sure, no one wore the face of failure quite like Favre or his face-palming wife (who leads this post). After the jump, there’s a pretty awesome .gif capturing the agony of one of the more ill-timed interceptions, maybe ever.

More Favre Fail after the jump >>