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Posts Tagged ‘Tennis’

Ana Ivanovic Gets It

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Ana Ivanovic

The alluring tennis player understands what her audience wants to see and she’s obliging them; well, at least her masculine fans. For the upcoming Sony Ericsson Open in Miami, Ana has agreed to wear a shorter skirt in order to attract more male fans (I doubt that’s a problem when she’s playing).

In case you are wondering, Ana’s tennis skirt will be two inches shorter:

“She’s a wonderful tennis player and a beautiful woman, but let’s face it, guys go to women’s matches to watch their skirts flip up while serving,” said Alan Garver, a representative from IMG. “Catching a glimpse of peach-colored panties, as delicate beads of perspiration slowly cascade down tight and tanned thighs, can be a splendid thing.

It often inspires the older male fans to harken back to their innocent youth and the days of grabbing their first breast or swapping spit with their cousin’s older girlfriend. So, on a business level, the hiking of the skirt works.”

Goodness. I didn’t realize the WTA was into the Letters to Penthouse industry. How come other sports spokespeople don’t try frame their offering like IMG is doing Ana?

I’m sure this is exactly what Billy Jean King envisioned when she whipped Bobby Riggs’ ass: shorter skirts on the attractive female players (actually, this is something BJK might support) and their representatives pitching it like it’s a Skinemax movie.

In other news, you gotta love The Sportsman Daily. Good stuff, as always.

Tennis Courts and Diet Coke Don’t Mix

Yes, it’s Friday and that means it’s time for some frivolity. Take for instance this next fellow. Apparently, Mentos and Diet Coke just wasn’t doing it for him so he decides to football spike a two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola’s Diet Battery Acid. The results of said spike are unexpected… and quite entertaining:

So the moral is, the next time you are playing tennis, watch out for kids with full two-liter bottles. You might get some of it on you.

Intentional Upset: Nadal Ousted From Aussie Open

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga

While we aren’t all over professional tennis like some of the others, when Rafael Nadal gets dusted out of the Australian Open semi-finals in dominating straight-set fashion, it’s hard not to notice. And with a 6-2, 6-3, 6-2 victory, that’s exactly what Jo-Wilfried Tsonga did.

Before the match began, Tsonga was already receiving accolades for being an unseeded player in the semi-finals and for being the first Black male to be in the semis of a major since MaliVai Washington in Wimbledon, 1996 and with him defeating the world’s number 2 in such dominating fashion, these should only continue has Tsonga prepares to play the winner of the Friday’s semi-final match between the world’s number 1 in Roger Federer and 3rd ranked Novak Djokovic.

If Tsonga goes on to beat either of these two (most likely, Federer) to with the Australian Open, he certainly won’t be in the unranked pile for much longer.

Speaking about his defeat, Nadal, who had just 12 unforced errors, offered these thoughts, “I was playing fine,” Nadal said. “He played unbelievable. Congratulate him.” In beating the world’s second, Tsonga used a strong serve (17 aces) and great baseline play to launch himself into the final pairing. Tsonga had 49 winners and didn’t face a break on his serve until the third set, making his performance all the more dominating.

In other upset news, the Minnesota Timberwolves beat the Phoenix Suns for the second time this year by the score of 117-107. Powered by Al Jefferson’s 39 point, 15 rebound performance, the Timberwolves got just their seventh (7-34) win of the season as opposed to the 30-13 record of the Suns, making the Minnesota beatdown all the more surprising…

Over at Bright Side of the Sun, they were feeling the same sense of surprise after watching Minnesota dismantle the Suns, a team that has hopes of reaching the NBA Finals… something that won’t happen if performances like this continue:

“Ok, how about the simple answer. The Suns in the back to back forgot to pack their “give a damn” in the gym bags and rolled out on the floor ready to stomp a JV team and instead got schooled by the cheerleaders in the powder puff game. “