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Posts Tagged ‘Player of the Weak’

Player of the Weak: Greg Paulus and Mike Patrick

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There isn’t a lot of love for the Duke Blue Devils outside of Cameron Indoor Stadium and after viewing this video posted by Awful Announcing of Paulus’ actions against Florida State last night, it’s easy to see why:

Of course, ESPN’s Mr. ACC, Mike Patrick, comes to the defense of Paulus like it’s his son out there on the floor. Thank goodness Jay Bilas was there to point out the fact that during the first incident, the Florida State player didn’t do anything that warranted Paulus’ flopping around like a fish out of water. The second incident looked like a result of the match-up getting testy as players were wrestling around for a loose ball.

Naturally, while Patrick is trying to point out the ills of Ryan Reid (“He threw a punch!!!” No Mike, he did not.), Mr Paulus looks like he’s trying to kick another Florida State player. You stay classy, Greg. It kinda sucks being an instigator and getting roughed up as a result, doesn’t it?

Much to Patrick’s delight, Duke wound up beating the Seminoles, 70-57. Mr Irrelevant has more on this very subject.

Player of the Weak: Saint Louis Billikens

I’m not sure if this is what Rick Majerus had in mind when he took over for the Billikens, but this is what he got: a team that can only muster SEVEN POINTS in one half of basketball (and only 13 in the other). According to ESPN’s segment (thanks for the embeddable video… jerks), Saint Louis went a whooping 54 minutes between baskets in a 49-20 loss to George Washington.

Rick Majerus

Understand, this is real time, not game clock time and 20 of those minutes were dedicated to halftime, where the Billikens weren’t on the floor (thankfully). However, that leaves 34 real time minutes of basketball (which equates to about 10-12 minutes on the basketball clock) between made baskets.

And I thought UK’s offense was ineffective…

To their credit, the Billikens almost doubled their first half output by scoring 13 points. Baby steps, folks. Baby steps. Well, that and minor victories. ;)

Ashley JuddAs for the greatness that is Majerus, he simply said, “We have some issues in terms of our offensive proficiency.” Gee Rick, Do ya think so? Anyway, I prefer to remember Ricky Rick like this–while working as an ESPN analyst, Majerus had some interesting thoughts about Kentucky’s unoffical mascot, Ashley Judd:

“Well, there’s not much to look forward to from here on out, so I’m trying to find Ashley Judd in the crowd. It beats the adult videos at the hotel.”

Update (12:17pm): Great find by Black Heart Gold Pants concerning Saint Louis’ excellence in basketball offensive execution: the 69 combined points from GW and STL was less than eleven of the bowl games we just spent an entire month watching.

Oh yeah, the Billikens’ 20-point outburst set a Division I record for fewest points in a game in the modern era. Kudos are indeed in order. Did Rick Majerus channel the Washington Generals before the game started?

Player of the Weak: Missed Goals Edition

One of the things I love about ushering in a new year are the recaps from the year that was. You know, things like the top-10 dunks of 2007, the best plays, so on and so forth. So you can imagine my joy when I ventured over to The Offside and saw their post for Worst Misses of All Time, focusing on the sport of soccer… or is it football?

The video has some great footage of attempts on goal gone awry–really, really, awry. So the next time you miss that breakaway lay-up in your basketball rec league or drop the pop fly in your softball bar league, don’t feel bad. Even the pros screw it up sometimes and in some cases, their miscues are much more egregious than you can imagine. That is, until you see the video.

Personally, I love watching all the reactions from the players who missed so badly. Anyway, congratulations to all the players that made this video possible. You are this week’s (and the first of 2008) cumulative Player of the Weak.

Player of the Weak: Eddie Jones

There are some NBA players that have the ability to hang-on and stay in the league a little longer than you would expect, much like Eddie Jones. In his prime, Jones was an effective swing man who averaged double digits in scoring. In fact, from 1998 until 2003, his scoring average was a healthy 18.1 points a game. Now that he’s on the down-swing of his NBA career, Jones finds himself with the Dallas Mavericks, providing Avery Johnson’s bench an experienced veteran who can help younger players transition to the NBA way of doing things.

Just as long as they don’t follow the example he sets in the upcoming video.

Before I proceed with the award, I remember seeing this on ESPN last week, but it completely slipped my mind. However, thanks to FanHouse, my memory was refreshed. What you are about to see is one of the greatest inbounds passes ever to take place in a basketball game, provided you were playing or rooting for the team opposing the Dallas Mavericks. I’m not exactly sure what Jones was seeing in the clip, but whatever it was, it was wrong.

Wow. Just wow. Congratulations, Eddie. You are this week’s Player of the Weak, an award you certainly deserve after making that pass. Jones’ pass is so bad, it may just find itself on an all-time NBA bloopers reel.

Player of the Weak: Anthony Smith

Anthony SmithThere’s an old adage that says, “never let your mouth write checks your body can’t cash,” which is something Pittsburgh Steelers safety Anthony Smith discovered after the New England Patriots finished their systematic beatdown of the Steelers yesterday by the score of 34-13. At the center of the whipping was the guarantee issued by Smith earlier in the week when he said Pittsburgh would indeed beat the undefeated Patriots on the Pats’ home field.

As the final score revealed, Smith’s tactics backfired as New England stayed in attack mode after the outcome had been decided. As expected, Smith’s guarantee was on the minds of New England’s players during the post-game interviews and they were happy to remind Smith he was the one who had to face his teammates after running his mouth like that.

Not only did the Patriots have issues with Smith’s prognostication abilities, they also victimized him with two deep scoring passes that took advantage of his coverage skills. Pats wide receiver Jabar Gaffney, who caught a touchdown pass because of Smith’s misjudgment, had this to say:

“He basically called us out,” said Patriots wide receiver Jabar Gaffney, who caught one of four Tom Brady touchdown passes and one of the two on which the Patriots obviously went after Smith like sharks converging on chum. “He’s young. He’ll learn.”

Congratulations, Anthony. Not only did you words fire-up a team that may be one of the best ever in the NFL’s long history, your “guarantee” put you in the running for this blog’s prestigious award. During a weekend that saw the University of Kentucky basketball team play like utter **** against Indiana and the horrific performance the Ravens displayed against the Colts last night, your words of wisdom separated you from the pack.

Anthony Smith, you are this week’s winner of the Player of the Weak award. Be sure to wear this distinction with pride. Before you go, be sure and enjoy the video of Brady/Moss “flea-flicker.” Smith is number 27 and he winds up on the ground while Gaffney goes into the end zone unopposed. Hat-tip to The Sporting Blog for finding the video.

Player of the Weak: Miami Dolphins

Going for perfection is never easy, just ask the Patriots about their game against Baltimore last night. While New England is pursuing a winning season without any loses, their AFC counterparts, the Miami Dolphins are going after another type of perfection, the kind that will resonate with the franchise long after the current players have moved on: 0-16.

Of course, the irony is if New England does make it through the season without a blemish, they’ll surpass the 1972 Dolphins and their mark of 14-0. If the Pats do go undefeated, they will finish at 19-0, which is a greater accomplishment than the Dolphins’ record, much to the chagrin of Mercury Morris.

That’s right folks, the Dolphins are getting awfully close to eclipsing the 0-14 record of futility established by the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Helping them accomplish this sterling designation are embarrassing losses to teams like the New York Jets, who came Miami with a 2-9 record, which gave the remaining Dolphin fans a sliver of hope they would shake their winless tag and avoid a date with history… 0-16 history.

Unfortunately, the Dolphins played their worst game of the year against the Jets, a team that represented the Dolphins’ best chance to end the losing streak, canceling their date with an unpleasant historical accomplishment. However, the struggling Jets had other ideas and were happy to demonstrate them to the lowly Dolphins by beating them 40-13, a result that undoubtedly caused these kinds of reactions:

The J-E-T-S actually put some points on the board? The Dolphins allowed the Jets to put 40 on the board?

The damage was done when the Jets scored 30 unanswered points, a fact that’s pretty astonishing, when you consider just how bad the Jets have been as well. Aiding them was the Dolphins propensity towards turning the ball over, something they did five times, including three interceptions, one of which was returned for a touchdown.

Reactions from the game, especially from the Miami players, was unintentionally funny… I mean, it’s never nice to laugh at another person’s pain, but in sports, that sometimes comes with the territory. Jason Taylor was kind enough to share his feelings about losing to the Jets:

“They [stink], too. They beat us, they’ll go home happy and their fans will be happy they’ve got three wins this season. Good for them.”

His thoughts were echoed by Keith Traylor who says, “This is by far the worst’ team I’ve played on.”

Well, not to add insult to injury or anything, but I’m presenting this week’s Player of the Weak award to the Miami Dolphins. Congrats guys. You’ve earned it.

Sad Dolphins

Player of the Weak: Eli Manning

There were a number of nominees for this week’s Player of the Weak award, but only one stunk it up so bad their performance has fans hoping for an almost-300 pound replacement. Mr. Eli Manning, come on down. Your pathetic performance against Minnesota yesterday cemented your spot in the Intentional Foul Hall of Fame.

Normally, I’m not one to pile on somebody, but Eli was so spectacularly bad, it’s hard not to join in with the bashing. While I was driving back to Kansas City from Lexington, Kentucky yesterday afternoon, the Sunday sports radio shows were absolutely crucifying Peyton’s brother and some hosts were even calling for back-up Jared Lorenzen—also known as the Pillsbury Throwboy—to get his chance at leading the New York Football Giants.

Now, this seems a little drastic considering just how many injured offensive players the Giants have but when you lose 41-17, stat lines like these leave a whole lot to be desired:

21-of-49 for 273 yards, 1 touchdown and 4 interceptions – 3 of which were returned for touchdowns.

I should probably remind you the Giants were also playing at home… againt a Minnesota team ranked dead last in the NFL when it comes to defending the pass. Displaying a masterful control of understatement, Eli offered these thoughts about his play against a team known more for their injured running back than their defensive prowess against the pass:

When you throw four interceptions, it’s never a good day…

Gee Eli, ya think? Anyway, congratulations on your well-deserved award. I know the Giants fans appreciate the effort.

Eli Manning

Player of the Weak: Alabama Crimson Tide

This past week, we had a number of nominees for this prestigious award. We had Barry Bonds and his indictment, Stephon Marbury and his brilliant handling of Isiah Thomas’ personnel decisions, and the Michigan Wolverines with their empty performance against Ohio State. However, this week’s Intentional Foul Player of the Weak award recognizes one of the biggest displays of SEC football ineptitude since the University of Kentucky lost to lowly Ohio University:

The University of Alabama (and their $4 million-a-year coach) lost to Louisiana-Monroe, a 5-6 team from the Sun-Belt conference (they were 4-6 coming in to the game) by the score of 21-14. The jaw-dropping loss puts Bama’s record at 6-5 and gives the Tide a ton of momentum heading into the Alabama/Auburn match-up, wouldn’t you say?

What stood out to me was Bama didn’t even score a point in the second half against a team ranked 79th in overall defense, making the Tide’s ineptitude all the more puzzling. Fan reaction to the loss was about what you would expect. Over at the Roll, Bama, Roll blog, poster outsidethelines offers this compelling thought:

Bottom line: This loss is as bad as it seems, and probably worse. It could be the worst single loss for Alabama since the arrival of Bear Bryant.

Much to his credit, the 4 Million Dollar Man — AKA Nick Saban — took the blame for loss. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if Bama fans thought this kind of result would come from a team coached by the highest paid coach in Division 1 (sorry, no Football Bowl Subdivision for me, thanks).

Congratulations Tide fans, your team and your coaching staff is our collective Player of the Weak… not an award you want to win heading into one of the biggest rivalries in sports. Do you think Coach Tuberville and the rest of the Auburn Tigers smell blood in the water?