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Posts Tagged ‘Mugshots’

I’m Afraid The Children Are Our Future

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God Help Me

These wonder-geniuses above me are the perpetrators of one of the more pathetic Internet-related crimes in memory. As documented by WithLeather and World Of Issac, a group of female cheerleaders detained and beat one of their “teammates” because of some apparent MySpace stuff her attackers didn’t agree with.

So what did they do to correct the situation?

They detained the girl for over 30 minutes and took turns beating the stuffing out of her — all because of a freaking MySpace page. It’s times like these that words begin to absolutely fail me.

Not only were the female badasses stupid enough to execute something like this, they also filmed it in hopes of making a popular Internet video; because, you know, there’s nothing that says viral popularity like detainment and assault.

According to reports:

The 16-year-old suffered a concussion, eye injuries and several bruises. During the attack, two others [the men in the mugshots leading this post] were outside keeping watch according to the sheriff’s office.

In fact, the sheriff said, Lindsay was lured into the home for the sole purpose of capturing and posting the video on the Internet. According to the sheriff’s office arrest affidavit, Lindsay told deputies they “were going to post the beating on MySpace and YouTube.”

Fortunately for the sake of society, the Sheriff’s office is recommending these vapid, self-absorbed, me-firsters be tried as adults. In case you are wondering, here’s the video our cheerleading wonder-geniuses provided.

To quote Chandler Jarrow from The Golden Child, “Brilliance is, the best brilliance is brilliance born not from someone ignorant.” I guess this isn’t an example of “best brilliance” now is it? Sigh. The struggle continues.

By the way, it looks like South Park nailed the YouTube phenomenon quite nicely.

I’m not your fwend, buddy! I’m not your buddy, guy!

Chris Henry Must Not Like Training Camp

Chris Henry

Well, it’s either that, or he doesn’t like playing in the NFL. I mean, what else could explain his ability to consistently screw things up for himself by constantly doing his best to take vacations at Cincinnati’s local lock-up. Yes, the awesome life of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry has been upgraded to “even more awesome” as Henry turned himself in for allegedly punching an 18-year old male in the face and breaking his windshield with a bottle.

Henry, who served an eight-game suspension last season for continued legal trouble (brilliantly documented by With Leather), has probably written his ticket out of the league. Permanently.

If you recall, when Henry’s last suspension was lifted, Commissioner Goodell told him it would be his last chance.

I’d say he just used that up, wouldn’t you?

Of course, Henry could still be exonerated and these accusations could wind up being a ruse, but it’s hard to give the benefit of the doubt to a player who has no concept of staying out of trouble. Not even one iota.

Naturally, this news is just another slap in the face for a franchise that actually looked like it was ready to join the rest of the NFL by being competitive two seasons ago. Once you add the all that Chad Johnson hub-bub, it’s becoming clear the Bengals may NEVER escape their “Bungles” moniker.

Not with stuff like this Chris Henry business — combined with not one but two terrible free agent gaffes — happening EVERY OFF SEASON. Oh well, here’s some Chris Henry mugshot goodness for you to enjoy.

Chris Henry Mugshot