It didn’t take Vikings quarterback Brett Favre long to find new employment. I think Fox hired him to teach a new class. The class is called “How to be a creepy old dude who thinks chicks still want him 101″ and his best student is new American Idol Judge Steven Tyler. The class covers the obvious Favre specialties of sexting and leaving voice mails begging for love, but Tyler pushes for extra credit by making lewd comments to 16-year olds.
Posts Tagged ‘Minnesota Vikings’
Okay, Adrian Peterson didn’t mean to get the McDonald’s employee fired. McDonald’s fired her because she let Peterson inside at 3:00 a.m. to use the bathroom. The drive-through was open but the restaurant was apparently closed. And that’s a no-no.
Here’s what happened:
“While working the late-night drive-thru shift at 3 a.m., a female employee encountered a man standing outside the window who asked to come inside and use the restroom. After a little while, she realized it was the popular Minnesota Vikings star and opened the door for him to come inside and use the facilities.”
I’m not sure what is more disturbing: that this poor woman had to work by herself at 3:00 a.m. or that Adrian Peterson has nowhere else to go at that time of the morning to use the bathroom except a McDonald’s.
It all comes out with a happy ending, though. The woman got her job back after word got out about what happened. The woman, for her part, said, “He’s a public figure… I know him better than some of the maintenance people that come in and out.”
Well, not really. But still. I doubt Adrian Peterson would let her into the locker room for a bathroom break during a Vikings game.
DJ Steve Porter brings some much-needed sanity, in the familiar auto-tune format, to the Randy Moss situation. While it’s looking like Brad Childress’ decision could completely backfire on him, Porter’s remix makes the latest chapter in Randy Moss’ wild-and-crazy journey through the world of football much more enjoyable.
As for Moss’ next stop, according to Tennessee Titans’ coach, Jeff Fisher, he expects a number of coaches to cast their line in the Randy-Moss-on-waivers pool.
While looking for video of Brett Favre’s game-ending pick six to Dwight Lowery, I came across a fan video of the play, and because it looked like it was filmed by an epileptic after consuming mass amounts of Red Bull, I began to wonder if that’s how Favre sees the field when he throws an interception. First, the video:
Yeah, even though I saw the play last night, I have no idea what’s going on in that video, and it’s probably pretty similar to how Favre saw the Jets’ defense.
Considering the fact “the Gunslinger” has 324 career picks — to his 502 touchdown passes — it’s clear Favre sees the field like that more often than you’d like your quarterback to. And yes, we’re purposely avoiding anything to do with the Jenn Sterger bullshit. While everything she says might be true about Favre, the entire situation feels like manufactured attempt to stay relevant, and considering how many “career changes” she’s had since leaving Florida State sidelines and the approving gaze of Brent Musburger, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
That being said, the voicemails sound awfully damning.
What’s next in the never-ending Favre saga? Deanna hitting him in the noggin with a golf club? Or a football helmet? You know, something like this:
Whatever the case, I wish both of them, Jenn and Brett, would just go away. Jenn’s eye-candy ways are played out — not to mention, done better by many, many other co-eds — and well, Favre is just the biggest attention whore walking.
Was it the disappointment in the interception against New Orleans? Was it the allure of being around his teammates again? Was it his desire to play like a kid again? None of the above. The reason Brett Favre returned to Minnesota, a return that was done completely on Favre’s schedule and not the Minnesota Vikings’, must be money. Perhaps that’s easy to scoff at, but once you understand just how much of a raise Favre stands to receive, it shouldn’t be.
Per a league source, Vikings quarterback Brett Favre got his new contract on Monday. He received a signing bonus of $4.4 million, and he reduced his base salary from $13 million to $11.6 million… Favre also is eligible to earn $4 million in incentives, which allows him to make up to $20 million in 2010.
If the Vikings are anywhere near as good as they were last season, Favre should reach those incentives, especially if they are performance-based, fairly easily. Even if he doesn’t, he still stands to earn $16 million for the 2010 season, and a number like that is reason enough for most people to leave their palatial confines of their Hattiesburg, Mississippi compound.
Especially if they don’t have to attend training camp.
Brett Favre made his preseason debut this past weekend against the San Francisco 49ers, and even though he was only in the game for only four offensive plays, it’s safe to say Favre will remember his first game back, thanks in large part to 49ers linebacker, Patrick Willis. The 49ers are getting a lot of love as NFC West favorites, and if their defense is any indication, there might be truth to those rumors. Granted, it’s hard to take anything from preseason games, so let’s just enjoy the highlight:
One could look at the hit as a karmic payback for Favre’s “make me feel wanted, while giving me lots more money” actions. In fact, I think it’s the preferable way to interpret Willis’ Favre smash.
I was perusing YouTube, looking for amusing Brett Favre videos — ones that have been uploaded recently — and I stumbled upon a new use for the acronym “BFF,” which, as far as I know, normally stands for “Best Friends Forever.” The phrase (or whatever the hell you want to call it) is primarily used by English-language-destroying teenage girls who text incessantly; but thanks to YouTube commentators, I now realize there’s a new meaning for BFF, and considering the hold he has on the sports world right now, the meaning’s much more accurate:
Brett Favre Forever.
If there was ever a more appropriate, timely alteration of an annoying “catch-acronym,” I haven’t seen it. Speaking of YouTube videos about Favre, and head-shaking abbreviations aside, it was hard not enjoy Tedy Bruschi going the hell off on the Favre circus:
Despite Bruschi’s misgivings; shared by a large portion of the sports population, no doubt, it’s easy to see this time of year — the run-up between preseason and regular season football — clearly belongs to Brett Favre.
I’m going back to Minny… Yeah, I think so. Or maybe not. Who knows? Hell, this is THE Brett Favre we’re talking about. Maybe he’s just on a plane to go hunting with Jared Allen. Whatever the case, Favre’s now the story of the day, again, as reports of (former) Vikings teammates traveling to Mississippi to bring their Pied Piper back to Minnesota, and now, thanks in no small part to the Twitter powers of Jay Glazer, the mainstream media is running with the “Signs Point to Favre Returning” story.
Let’s hope this one doesn’t backfire like Text Message Gate did.
While no one knows for sure what he’s doing, you can be sure the rest of your Tuesday has been officially hijacked by a plane featuring a passenger named Brett Favre. Speaking of, I took a quick look around the flight-tracking site, FlightAware.com, and the only plane I noticed leaving Biloxi was headed for Omaha. Granted, I’m not the most experienced user in the world when it comes to tracking airplanes, but I do know how to pick airports from a list of suggested results.
Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy your previously unannounced “Brett Favre Tuesday,” because, let’s face it, no one
expects wants a Brett Favre takeover, especially after living through them the last two seasons or so. Just make the best of it, especially if you aren’t a Vikings fan.
Perhaps avoiding the ESPNs of the world for a day or two would help.