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Posts Tagged ‘Lane Kiffin’

What About Layla Kiffin?

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Layla Kiffin

Now that Lane Kiffin’s massive middle finger at the Tennessee Volunteers has been delivered, intentional or not, and the fallout has commenced, one question I’ve seen on a recursive basis has to do with Layla Kiffin and whether or not she’ll look as striking in USC garnet as she did in Volunteer orange. Being the eager-to-please blogger that I am, I tried to shed a little light on the question with some quick-and-dirty color manipulation, as seen in the lead image. Now, a woman as attractive as Layla Kiffin could make sweats, t-shirts and hair rollers look good, but, as I think you’ll agree, while she’s certainly easy on the eyes in maroon-looking colors, it’s still not as visually-arresting as the almost-neon orange of Tennessee.

See? We’re doing God’s work here, answering the important questions.

As for her lesser half, his decision to leave went over like about as well as you’d expect. There were rumors of student riots and tear gas, although, I think those were a little overblown, but then again… Now, it’s pretty safe to say the Tennessee students weren’t happy, and, if they were left to their own devices, they might have hung Kiffin in effigy. Instead, the students allowed their campus mainstay, The Rock, to do the talking for them:

Lane's Rock
Click for uncensored version

And with that, the SEC bids a (fond?) farewell to the Kiffin family. While it ended much too soon for this blogger’s taste (strictly for the stories Kiffin generated), it certainly wasn’t forgetful. And hey, it brought Layla Kiffin into our lives.

That’s certainly a good thing — and now we have an idea of what she’ll look like in Trojan red.

Lane Kiffin Moshes With Jonathan Crompton

Oh yes, there’s no escaping the excitement when the Tennessee Volunteers beat the Vanderbilt Commodores, especially if your name is Lane Kiffin and you have the inconsistent Jonathan Crompton as your quarterback. Not knowing which Crompton will show up is what makes these wins so exciting, evidently, especially when the good Crompton appears. You never know, Kiffin could be excited because he found out the charges against Janzen Jackson would be dropped.

Next up for the Volunteers is another chance to get excited when they face the Kentucky Wildcats on Saturday. Tennessee hasn’t lost to the Wildcats since 1984 and the winner will tie the Georgia Bulldogs for second place in the SEC East with a 4-4 record.

If good Crompton makes the trip, the Volunteers will have every opportunity to continue their celebratory moshing. But first, they’ll have to get past Randall Cobb and the chip of recruiting snubs he’s carrying on his shoulder. Cobb played his high school football in the shadow of Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium and was not recruited by the Volunteers, a decision that looks like a big mistake (Cobb is among the league-leaders in touchdowns [non-throwing] and all-purpose yards).

Lane Kiffin’s Kind Eyes Won’t Save Him

I’m digging the idea of Lane Kiffin using a coach’s puppy dog eyes look to convince people to change banking preferences. I’m guessing these are the same eyes that helped him land someone of Layla’s stature. Unfortunately, I don’t think that kind of sad, “trust me” look is going to help much against the Florida Gators tomorrow afternoon. While Florida coach Urban Meyer says the offseason kerfuffle with Kiffin and Tennessee is in the past, one wonders if Tim Tebow and Brandon Spike, et al, feel the same way.

The line makers, who have installed Tennessee as a 29.5-point underdog, don’t think much of the Volunteers’ chances.

Granted, the SEC’s version of UT has the defensive talent — led by Eric Berry — to make the Florida/Tennessee game a respectable one. Tennessee’s offense, on the other hand, does not. If Jonathan Crompton repeats the performance he had against UCLA, being put up for sale might be the least of his worries. He might have to deal with being relegated to the bench.

The Real Reason Tennessee Fans Are Happy

And we’re back after a tryptophan-induced absence. I think this is an appropriate way to get back into the swing of things.

If the bulk of the Tennessee Volunteer fans seem like they are in a good mood even though they now have an inexperienced coach leading their football program, there’s a reason why: Lane Kiffin’s wife, Layla … and it’s completely understandable:


Apparently, Kiffin’s better half did a good job of getting Tennessee’s new coach on his knees.

Bad jokes aside, if you’d like to see an extensive gallery of Tennessee’s new belle of the ball, Rocky Top Talk has you completely covered. If you’d like to enjoy Layla’s hotness through Facebook, Clay Travis has your back.

Maybe Kiffin’s wife can act as a buffer if the new Volunteers regime doesn’t enjoy a successful lift-off. I would, however, advise him to keep his wife away from Bruce Pearl. I’m not sure Pearl’s undeniable animal magnetism and Layla Kiffin’s hotness factor is a good mix for a school trying to “rebuild” its beloved football program.

Oh look. Lane’s getting off on the right foot by pissing Steve Spurrier off. Let’s keep these rivalry fires stoked, people.

So Long, Lane Kiffin

Lane Kiffin

In one of the most shocking announcements since Darth Vader told Luke Skywalker about his daddy, the Oakland Raiders have fired Lane Kiffin — according to sources gathered by Chris Mortensen, who looks like he actually beat Jay Glazer this time.

The details were about what you’d expect from Al Davis — Kiffin was told he was getting a phone call from Davis and would be fired, Kiffin isn’t allowed to speak to the players before he leaves, Davis was mad Kiffin showed interest in a college job and so on and so forth. What no one seems to be worried about, except the San Francisco Chronicle apparently, is the development of JaMarcus Russell.

The environment fostered by Davis isn’t exactly ideal for an up-and-coming quarterback who needs a stable franchise supporting him. Oakland is about the exact opposite:

The single biggest obstacle to the proper development of JaMarcus Russell is the current instability surrounding the Oakland Raiders. A player needs proper coaching to transition from the NCAA level to the NFL. As it stands, to describe the Raiders coaching situation as tenuous would be stretching it. It has the makings of a disaster that rivals the Hindenburg. The Raiders need to figure out what they are going to do, and allow this young team time to grow up together.

Now that Davis has taken care of his latest nemesis, perhaps he can give Russell the appropriate surroundings, complete with a coaching staff he trusts and smart, useful draft picks — and maybe I’ll be the overall top pick next season.

According to Mort, one of the following is expected to replace Kiffin: offensive line coach Tom Cable, offensive coordinator Greg Knapp and Paul Hackett. There was no mention of James Lofton anywhere in the report.