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Posts Tagged ‘Jared Lorenzen’

Wait, Was That NFL Football?

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Hall Of Fame Game

Let’s see, we had a Jared Lorenzen sighting, a Colt Brennan sighting and what looked to be the NFL shield placed strategically on large jerseys with big numbers on them. Could it be? Was that really, *gasp*, NFL Football on my TV last night? Why yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus because guess what? The NFL Preseason is finally HERE.


Actually, all kidding aside, it was damn good to see Sunday football on the tube again, even if it was meaningless — tell that to the rookies and free agents trying to make the squad — and not really indicative of what we’ll see starting in September. I don’t care, it was still football — or, the only reason for sports fans to exist in the fall.

In case you missed it, the Washington Redskins took on the Indianapolis Colts in the Hall of Fame Game in Canton, Ohio last night. Washington prevailed, 30-16. After about the first possession for each side, the teams unloaded their benches, allowing less obvious players show why they deserve a spot on the final roster. And what did we learn?

* Colt Brennan looked pretty damn good (9-10 passing and two touchdowns). I guess getting smashed around by that SEC speed in January gave him an idea of what he’d be seeing on a day-to-day basis in the NFL.

* Jason Campbell looks like he’s ready to start for lead the Skins (5-5 and a touchdown).

* Jared “Battleship” Lorenzen looks like he’s determined to waste all the NFL talent he has. Now look, no one expects him to get his well-publicized weight down to the 200 pound mark; however, is it too hard to ask he gets down to around 250 pounds? If he’d put just a little bit of effort into the diet and conditioning portion of his preparation, he’d be a successful back-up and not fighting for the third-string back-up position. As it stands, it’ll be hard for Lorenzen to overtake Quinn Gray, especially if yesterday’s performance is anything to go on.

/end J-Lo rant

* The Colts don’t have much in the way of back-up talent. Mike Hart did some nice things but for the most part, Tony Dungy and company had better hope Peyton Manning and company don’t get hurt.

* Did I mention it was nice to have football on again?

And We’re Back

Testing… testing. Is this thing on?

After a much-needed Christmas break, we are back and ready to jump right in. Quite a bit has happened since last Friday, which was covered masterfully around the sport blogosphere so I won’t bother you with regurgitation. Although, there was some news being made last night as well.

Taking a quick look around, the biggest story to come out had to do with the NFL caving in and showing the Saturday’s game between the Giants and the Patriots in a simulcast format. Instead of keeping the game on NFL Network–and therefore ensuring no one sees it–Roger Goodell and crew will allow the game to be broadcast on CBS and NBC as well. Saying the decision was in the best interests of NFL fans, the Commissioner may have salvaged some goodwill from the NFL Channel/cable company debacle.

Of course, everything may not be on the up-and-up. Reminding us of that little fact is Epic Carnival, who takes a look at some of the reasons the NFL caved. Personally, I’m voting for the Jared Lorenzen demand. Any circumstance that results in the Battleship throwing the football is a good enough for me.

Jared Lorenzen

In other news, there was an actual college football bowl game last night and from the looks of it, it was pretty damn entertaining… if lower-level bowl games that offer 99 total points and over 1000 yards in total offense–or an abject lack of anything remotely considered defense–is your sort of thing. Reinforcing the belief that there may be too many bowl games, Purdue beat Central Michigan in the Motor City Bowl, 51-48. Purdue kicker Chris Summers hit a 40-yard field goal as time expired.

This also gives us a great excuse to show a picture of the Purdue cheerleaders:


Bonus: I saw one of the best dunks of the NBA season last night when Philadelphia’s Louis Williams dunked all over Udonis Haslem and Dwayne Wade. The dunk was so nasty, it was voted the Haier Play of the Day at I certainly agree.

Anyway, it’s good to be back. We’ll be back later (in-house chores to be tended to) with a look at tonight’s Holiday Bowl, featuring the Texas Longhorns against the Arizona State Sun Devils… and her (found at Busted Coverage):

Sun Devils

Player of the Weak: Eli Manning

There were a number of nominees for this week’s Player of the Weak award, but only one stunk it up so bad their performance has fans hoping for an almost-300 pound replacement. Mr. Eli Manning, come on down. Your pathetic performance against Minnesota yesterday cemented your spot in the Intentional Foul Hall of Fame.

Normally, I’m not one to pile on somebody, but Eli was so spectacularly bad, it’s hard not to join in with the bashing. While I was driving back to Kansas City from Lexington, Kentucky yesterday afternoon, the Sunday sports radio shows were absolutely crucifying Peyton’s brother and some hosts were even calling for back-up Jared Lorenzen—also known as the Pillsbury Throwboy—to get his chance at leading the New York Football Giants.

Now, this seems a little drastic considering just how many injured offensive players the Giants have but when you lose 41-17, stat lines like these leave a whole lot to be desired:

21-of-49 for 273 yards, 1 touchdown and 4 interceptions – 3 of which were returned for touchdowns.

I should probably remind you the Giants were also playing at home… againt a Minnesota team ranked dead last in the NFL when it comes to defending the pass. Displaying a masterful control of understatement, Eli offered these thoughts about his play against a team known more for their injured running back than their defensive prowess against the pass:

When you throw four interceptions, it’s never a good day…

Gee Eli, ya think? Anyway, congratulations on your well-deserved award. I know the Giants fans appreciate the effort.

Eli Manning