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Posts Tagged ‘Hard Knocks’

The New Spokesperson For Safe, Responsible Sex

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By now, you’ve probably heard about New York Jets defensive back Antonio Cromartie, he of the eight children by seven different women, and his attempt to name all of his crotch fruit on HBO’s Hard Knocks. If not, watch and laugh. Understand something, I’m quite serious about Cromartie’s role as a, if not THE, spokesperson for safe, protected sex; because if you don’t, you might find yourself on HBO, struggling to remember all their names, clearly looking like an irresponsible athlete who’d rather spread their seed to all who are willing.

In case you forgot, Cromartie had to ask for an advance from the Jets in order to square his child support bills.

So yeah, the motto for the Antonio Cromartie/Safe Sex/Responsible Parenthood campaign has to be something like this: “Don’t Do What I Did: Use a Condom. Trust me, struggling to remember the names of your various children is hard work.” The acronym excites me: DDWIDUACTMS2RNVCHW, or DDWID for short.

I’d definitely wear it if it was available as a Livestrong/WWJD-type of bracelet.

H/t to, well, everyone who posted the video, starting with Robert Littal of Black Sports Online.

Rex Ryan: King of F**k

Make no mistake about it, New York Jets fans, your coach is about one thing, and one thing only: F**king winning. Don’t believe me? Just watch the video from last night’s debut of HBO’s Hard Knocks. PFT has a nice little transcript of Rex’s carpet f-bombing.

It would make Richard Pryor proud:

1. On Darrelle Revis, “He’s pretty f–king good.”

2. “It’s about leading the league in f–king wins.”

3. “If we play at our best, we will beat every team in this f–king league playing at their best.”

4. “Last year, hey, we were under the radar, that’s a good place to be. F–k that!”

5. “We know we’re better than you. We don’t give a f–k if you know it or not.”

6. “We’re gonna beat the f–k out of you.”

F**k yeah!!!!!!!!

Now, the real question is, now that the Jets have clearly embraced their hype, are they going to fizzle out in grand fashion or will they make Rex Ryan look like a f**king genius? Can/will Mark Sanchize (12 TDs, 20 INTs last season) lead the team past the AFC Championship? Or was last year a flash in the pan? If the Jets are truly committed to playing without Darrelle Revis — something I find hard to f**king believe — will they even be able to at least repeat last year’s moderate regular season success?

H/t to The Sports Hernia.