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Posts Tagged ‘Craigslist’

The Things We Do For Super Bowl Tickets

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Vasectomy Kit

Let’s face it, people will do just about anything to go to and/or enjoy the Super Bowl. Whether it’s offering themselves as date (Sarah Spain), or as human toilets; you name it, people have probably been willing to do it for tickets to the NFL’s championship game. In fact, being the troopers that they are, Cracked.com put together a list of the most pathetic attempts to get Super Bowl tickets, but thanks the awesomeness of Craiglist, it looks like we have another one for Cracked to consider.

This latest attempt finds a desperate man trying his hardest to follow his New Orleans Saints. So much, in fact, he’s offering something rather personal in return: His left nut. Observe:

High capacity, O negative, well traveled, well maintained, larger than average, only used for @ 22 years! (was in storage before that)
1 available!
History of producing blond haired Caucasian males inclined towards joining the military. (1 army, 1 marine) (results may vary!)
All sales are final!!
Will complete transaction after the game! (and I’ll need a ride to the airport and help on a plane!)
Pictures/documentation available upon request.
No perverts!!!!!

To me, the “No perverts” is simply a touch of class that brings the entire thing together, much like a nice bass line. So, if you have Super Bowl tickets to spare and are perhaps needing to upgrade your reproductive organs, there’s someone out there with you in mind.

A Human Toilet for the Super Bowl

Urinal Mouth

As the Super Bowl gets closer and closer, some fans include sexually-related items, gifts and wagers as part of the celebration. I guess there’s something about the biggest football game in the world bringing out the wilder side for football fans, especially the female fans. There are tamer events, like winning Adriana Lima for the Super Bowl as part of a Victoria’s Secret marketing ploy and the woman who auctioned herself off as a Super Bowl date. The winner got to take her as a date to the Super Bowl, although, I don’t think anything romantic was allowed.

More Super Bowl bathroom humor after the jump