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It’s been an eternity since the Cincinnati Bengals have made the Super Bowl. January 22nd, 1989 against the San Francisco 49ers is a long lost memory, a rare positive one at that, in the minds of Bengals fans. They lost that game 20-16 and since then, they’ve lost all sense of direction.

Though the 1990s, their overall record included 52 wins and an astounding 108 losses. Through the decade starting in 2000, their record of misery was 68-91-1. It seems that no matter what level of talented players they add, their perennial high level of haplessness never seems to subside. The only time this organization made news was when one of their many players were arrested for some off-the-field shenanigans that stayed in lock-step with their on-the-field shenanigans.

The 2010 season was full of hope. Adding Terrell Owens to an already deep wide receiver corps along with a rested and healthy Carson Palmer was supposed to turn the tide for the Cincinnati Bengals. While they seemed poised to finish in the upper-end of the AFC, it wasn’t long before the reality that has plagued this team set in. A 10-game losing streak was book ended by 2 wins and 1 loss to open the season and to close it as well.

Why we should leave Cutler alone after the jump >>

One of the biggest disappointments of the 2010 NFL season has to be the woeful performance of the Cincinnati Bengals, who, after dropping yet another game, this time to the New Orleans Saints, have a sterling 2-10 record, strengthened by an impressive stretch of nine straight losses. With such a great showing this season, coming off a 2009 season where the Bengals won the AFC North, fans are understandably pissed off about Cincinnati’s sad return to the land of Bungles football. While some disillusioned fans direct their ire and disappointment at Carson Palmer, who’s uneven play invites such criticism, others are targeting someone who, in the mind of this writer, is much more to blame than any coach or player on the Bengals roster: owner Mike Brown.

Continue reading after the jump >>

It’s like watching Poison and Kip Winger having a fight. In other news, Domata is about the only bright spot about last night’s game, especially from the perspective of a Bengals fan. Yes, Terrell Owens did some nice things, but when Jordan Shipley dropped that 4th down pass, TO’s touchdowns really didn’t matter. With the Peko’s hit, at least I can enjoy watching Polamalu get knocked on his ass over and over again.

Hey, as someone who’s been known to root for the Bengals — having a hard time saying the word “fan” — you take what you can get.

Oh, TO ran over a security guard, so there’s that, too:

After the jump >>

Actually he’s not trying to, but because of a mistake with a 1-800 phone number listing, folks who buy Ochocinco’s cereal, which helps promote the Feed the Children program, are treated to something unexpected if they call the 1-800-HELP-FTC hotline. Instead of being connected to an operator for FTC, callers are greeted by a phone sex service, offering hot times with the “slutty” girl who recorded the message, and she’s including all of her ultra-hot friends.

Sounds like a hot time (for only 99 cents a minute!!!).

Unfortunately, however, folks who called expecting Feed the Children information were probably not looking for hot times with slutty girls — or, well, chicks with hot voices.

The story was pointed out to us by CincyJungle, and ESPN filling in any blanks of information — literally, not metaphorically.

Cincinnati-based Kroger Co. said Thursday it was pulling all Ochocinco cereal boxes from its grocery shelves because of the error. Some local stores had them on special display after the launch about a month ago.

And

Ochocinco told WCPO that the number was clearly a mistake and he’s sure that the maker will fix the problem.

So a funny mistake was had by all, and I must say, I’m glad the family who reported the issue didn’t freak the hell out like the “concerned” folks who acted like a fool over Janet Jackson’s metal-covered boob. Clearly, the mix-up was a mistake, unless, of course, Ochocinco is an investor in the phone sex industry.

Hey, you can’t knock such a hustle, especially when you consider just how profitable the adult business is.

Yes, Ray Lewis, you and your defense might have been the victim of some questionable roughing the passer calls, but that’s not the only reason your Ravens lost to the Bengals. If not for Joe Flacco’s poor performance, who knows? Maybe those calls wouldn’t have impacted the outcome of the game. Multiple interceptions have a way of ruining the best-laid plans.

You know, like this one:

Nice blast from Adam Jones on Ray Rice, too.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think four interceptions against any team provides the easiest road to victory. There was only one drive — the touchdown drive in the third quarter — where Flacco looked like a Super Bowl-capable quarterback. The rest of the game? Not so much.

So while the calls might piss you off, Ray, your quarterback didn’t do a damn thing to help your cause, either.

That there is one half of Chad Ochocinco’s new shoes, courtesy of Reebok’s new ZigTech design. Whatever your feelings on Reebok’s new style, the one thing you can most assuredly say about this particular version is they definitely match Ochocinco’s team colors. Hey, at least he’s not running naked through the woods, right? Of course, considering his reality show and the amount of women followers he has on Twitter, another commercial of a naked Ochocinco in his new ZigTechs probably isn’t a bad idea. If sex sells for men, it’s bound to work on women, too, right? Unfortunately, they won’t be the ones buying these shoes, even if they do get a naked commercial.

Maybe they’ll buy a pair for their men, expecting similar results.

Whatever the case, a hat-tip to Ochocinco’s Facebook page is in order.

Say what you will about Terrell Owens, most of it earned, no doubt, but he’s trying hard to be a fan-favorite for the Cincinnati Bengals, the fifth team of his career. Besides saying all the right things, except, perhaps, that stuff about Dallas — he was being honest, conversely — a love-letter from Owens to Bengals fans appeared in the Cincinnati Enquirer, thanking his new TEAM for the support they’ve given thus far, as well as talking of Super Bowl glory.

There’s also a moment of introspection for the one they call T.O.:

With my “me against the world” mentality as a young man, I’ve learned that life can be more challenging but I’ve matured.

Of course, the surest way to impress both the fans and the new establishment quickly is to make plays. Catch (the key word here, I think we can all agree) touchdowns, block well for your promising running game, and be — *gasp* — a beacon of light and knowledge in a locker-room full of talented newcomers.

Perhaps that last one is snicker-inducing, but if he follows the parameters he put in his letter, it’s not too much to ask; but if it is, then asking him not to become a cancer, especially if Jordan Shipley gets Wes Welker-like attention from Carson Palmer, isn’t.

Aside: Shipley can get open and catch just about every ball thrown near him, and with the Ochocinco/Owens bookends on the field, Shipley (and Jermaine Gresham) are going to have a lot of room to work with.

Now we get to see if Owens is a man of his word.

Tim Tebow made his NFL debut for the Denver Broncos last night against the Cincinnati Bengals, and overall, he looked pretty decent — better than Brady Quinn, anyway — but unlike college, where Tebow gets smashed by the Taylor Wyndhams of the world once in a blue moon, Wyndham-style hits are much more commonplace in the NFL. Just ask Jeromy Miles and Tebow’s blindside.

Despite the big hit/fumble, Tebow’s first game wasn’t that bad at all. The quarterback with the hottest shoes finished 8-13 for 105 yards and a rushing touchdown.

Can you say “Kyle Orton’s backup because Quinn’s probably going to get himself cut?” I thought you could.