Along with about a zillion other unimportant topics that are shaking out of the Super Bowl, you can’t possibly have missed the “news” that was the Christina Aguilera brain fart on a single line of the National Anthem. In the annals of National Anthem performances that have sucked, this doesn’t even make a blip at the far edges of the proverbial radar screen. It’s not like she’s a National Anthem rookie. In fact, I barely noticed until after the game because I was busy preparing my eyes and my mind to watch a great football game.
I can think of disgraceful performances by the likes of Roseanne Barr, Michael Bolton, and holy crap – world famous Olympic sprinter, Carl Lewis that will, unfortunately, be forever etched in my memory.
In the event there is a next time, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a National Anthem cheat sheet for Christina Aguilera and then everyone should put this to rest.
The National Anthem
Oh, say, can you flee, by the fawn’s burly might,
What so loudly we failed , at the Superbowl singing,
Whose brown stripes and loud farts, through the cottonous white,
Or the ram parts we watched, oh my gosh their balls are big,
Her eye-socket’s red flare, pom-poms hairspray in hair,
Gave spoofs through the night, that she bagged it on air.
O say, does that star-mangled National Anthem save
Or the band of World B. Free and the home of the gnave.