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Welcome to the first annual IntentionalFoul.com NFL Preview. In this little segment, I do what the title infers — that is, preview each conference in the NFL. Just because, I am starting with the AFC East and working my through to the NFC West.

These previews will feature the teams in the order I expect them to finish in along with a brief outlook and a spotlight on the franchise’s hottest cheerleader. You know, the important stuff.

With that, let us begin the build up to the NFL, starting with the team that got really, really close to perfection last season:

New England Patriots

Outlook
It’s going to be really hard for the Patriots to improve upon last season’s regular season perfection and it’s unreasonable to think they can duplicate this feat. However, the Patriots offense — as long as Tom Brady, Wes Welker, and Randy Moss are healthy — is as potent as any in the league. During last season’s eye-popping run, the Patriots scored a total of 75 touchdowns to their opponents 34.

If Kool-Aid man Laurence Maroney can provide a consistent running game that improves over last year’s 835 yards to take some of the pressure off of Brady, the offense will continue to smoke unprepared foes.

The defensive side of the ball, however, still remains suspect. There is talent with Richard Seymour, Rodney Harrison and company, but they are one year older. For a defense that started to show its age late last season, there are areas of concern. Are the linebackers too old? Can they recover from the loss of Asante Samuel?

All things considered, the Patriots have a pretty easy schedule and because of that, they will be in a position to represent the AFC in Super Bowl XLIII. Expect the Pats to finish 13-3 and to win the AFC East.

Hottest Patriots Cheerleader
Lots of choices here, but for my money, it’s the rookie Asia that really stands out.

Although, Bill Belichick’s cougar comes in a close second.

Read the rest of the AFC East preview >>

So what happens to the clothes of the newly-minted World Championship coach after they’ve been doused in the NBA’s first-ever Gatorade dunk? Does he dry clean them or just dispose of them? Why on earth would he do that when there are so many people out there who want to get there hands on anything that resembles a collectible?

That being the case, Doc Rivers donated his suit and the Celtics donated the cooler used by Paul Pierce to dunk his coach with to charity. These items generated $55,000 for the Celtics Shamrock Foundation.

Not only that, but during the auction, Bill Parcels — the first coach to ever receive a Gatorade bath — decided to join the fun and support the charitable cause. Here’s the clip of Parcells calling to place his bid, courtesy of Alex Jeffrey.

As indicated, the Gatorade-soaked suit raised $55,000. The winning bid was $35,000 with Gatorade and another Celtics fan chipping in $10,000 each.

Spike TV’s lovely “Pros Vs Joes” offering has provided some good fodder for highlight segments and this season hasn’t disappointed either. First, we have Leitch’s second appearance and now there’s a quality Ricky Williams sighting, something we haven’t had for some time.

In the upcoming video, everybody’s favorite pot smoker proves there’s still a vast chasm between someone with his undeniable talents and an average cat from the regular society.

Damn dude. If you aren’t going to go for the leg tackle, get the hell out of the way next time. Ricky has made a living, albeit a sporadic one, running defenders over. You have not. I wonder if Parcells got wind of this before it was indicated Williams could still have a place in Miami?

Via SbB

The Big Tuna got his man in Tony Sparano; the now previous offensive line coach for the Dallas Cowboys. No word on whether or not the meeting took place at the Bada Bing Club… or whether or not Sparano will be able to avoid those RICO predicates either.

The Dolphins have filled their head coaching vacancy with the announcement that Tony Sparano will be succeeding Cam Cameron as the Dolphins head capo (Tuna is the Don). This is the fifth head coaching replacement for the Fins since Don Shula retired in 1995, which is almost one every two years…

No word on who Sparano will hire as his lieutenants.

Also, there’s been no word from Sparano as to why his offensive line couldn’t block the New York Giants pass rush any better than it did in last Sunday’s Cowboys/Giants Divisional Playoff game.

FWIW, a reader in Miami is thinking the same thing in reference to the Sopranos similarities… at least according to the comments in the Miami Herald article:

“AS I PREDICTED. THEY HIRED THE CRACKER MAFIOSO!”

And that gem was posted by someone called Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Thanks to David Utter and Simply Fired, we’ve got our hands on some super-secret emails that shed a great deal of light on the behind the scenes events taking place these past few days. Why did Big Tuna fire the Dolphins GM, Randy Mueller? Is there a reason Matt Millen was so quick to relieve Mike Martz of his duties? How about Kansas City GM Carl Peterson? Does he have some ace up his sleeve that’s helping him keep his job? And what about Brian Billick? Did Ray Lewis have anything to do with Billick’s release?

Now before I reveal some of the contents of these “leaked” emails, you should probably understand that THESE ARE IN JEST… as if the Simply Fired link didn’t give it away. Before I go, I’ll reprint a couple of these to give you a better idea of what might’ve went down with your favorite team:

The Miami Dolphins:

From: Big Tuna
To: RMueller@dolphins.com
Subject: Your job

Randy Mueller,
You drafted Ginn and Beck instead of Brady Quinn. The team finished 1-15. Bullethead wanted to take a contract out on you with one of these Jamaican drug gangs, but I think I talked him into just letting me fire you.

When security comes to escort you out, check for dreadlocks anyway. Chromedome might have changed his mind.

Bill

The Detroit Lions:

From: Teflon GM (mmillen@detroitlions.com)
To: Mike Martz (Ogenius@detroitlions.com)
Subject: See ya fall guy

Yeah, I know it would make more sense for Mr. Ford to have me dropped into the lake wearing nothing but a Ford pickup, but guess what? I get yet another free pass on a failed Lions season. Again. Hahahahahaha. Take your kid with you, b****. You’re fired. I’m not.

The Kansas City Chiefs:

From: Carl Peterson (gm@kcchiefs.com)
To: KC Chiefs fans
Subject: me and Herm ain’t leaving

Never underestimate the power of discreet photographs when it comes to dealing with ownership. So the Chiefs had their worst season since Jimmy Carter was in office. We fired some of the coaching staff, but me and Herm, we play to win the game, and the game is “keep our fat paychecks.” Don’t forget, season ticket prices go up next week.

Well, there you have it folks. Straight from the horse’s mouth…  Hat-tip to Dave for pointing this out.

While he’s busy cleaning out the veritable closet for the Miami Dolphins (coach and GM), Bill Parcells has done something a little unexpected: he’s keeping Ricky Williams around, at least for the 2008 season or until someone accepts a trade offer for Williams’ services. The Miami Herald has more:

Williams’ agent, Leigh Steinberg, wrote in an e-mail to The Miami Herald that Williams received a letter from the Dolphins dated Dec. 31 and signed by Parcells renewing Williams’ contract for 2008.

Steinberg wrote that he will wait until Parcells has a chance to settle in with the Dolphins before contacting him. Steinberg also wrote that Williams is doing well in his rehabilitation from a torn pectoral muscle that ended his 2007 season after six carries against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Nov. 26.

Such a letter would seem to indicate that Parcells wants Williams back next season.

It would seem Ronny Brown’s recovery time played a role in Parcells’ decision to keep Williams on but would an opposing team actually take a chance on him if Brown does come back 100% healthy?

As expected, Bill Parcells continued to clean house in the Miami Dolphins franchise by giving coach Cam Cameron his pink slip.  During his first and only season with the Dolphins, Cameron compiled a 1-15 record, an accomplishment that no doubt led to Parcells’ quick hook.

Cameron’s firing comes just one day after Parcells hired Jeff Ireland to fill the vacant general manager position, an opening Parcells created as well.  Ireland was with his new boss in Dallas and helped build a team that currently has the best record in the NFC; a fact Dolphins fans should be quick to recognize.

There’s been no mention of a possible replacement, but you can almost guarantee Parcells will hire someone who he’s comfortable with.  Dolphin fans can weigh in with their selection at Greg Cote’s Miami Herald blog entry.