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Posts Tagged ‘Bad Basketball’

The New Jersey Nets Season, In One Play

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You know how a picture paints a thousand words? Well, sometimes in sports, one play can serve as a microcosm for the season to date. A great defensive play, followed by a nasty dunk or a timely basket can easily be such a reminder, but what happens if you are the receiving end of such a play? That can be used to sum up your efforts, as well.

Just ask the winless New Jersey Nets.

If, perhaps, you are wondering how and why a team can be so ineffective (I.E., bad), just watch the lead video. Three missed layups and one lazy pass later, Milwaukee Bucks rookie sensation Brandon Jennings collects a steal, explodes between the Nets he just stole it from, races down the court and finishes with a two-handed dunk.

That, friends, is ineffective basketball at its finest. 0-12 records don’t grow on trees. You have to work at being this bad, and poor efforts like the one I just described go a long way towards a team being winless almost a month into the season.

Setting Basketball Back (Penn State, Illinois)

Penn State, Illinois

Normally, those scoring charts have a steeper increase, but thanks to what might be one of the uglier basketball games in the shot clock era for a major conference, featuring Penn State and Illinois, the beauty of the game was absolutely extinguished.

At least in Champaign, Illinois, it was.

The Big Ten “battle” between these two schools treated the viewers to, simply stating, putrid basketball; something the 38-33 score indicates quite vividly. 38-33 in favor of Penn State. Think about that for a second. In 40 minutes of basketball, the fastest rate either team could score at was less than one point a minute. Furthermore, the average combined score in college basketball this season is right around 137 points a game.

These two teams barely combined for half that.

More dubious stats after the jump >>

Six Versus Five Is An Advantage (Portland Trail Blazers)

Six players versus five. I’m sure many basketball fans have often wondered how a team would do on offense if they were allowed an extra player. In the case of Portland’s win over Boston, the result is an easy dunk for the team that “broke the huddle with too many men on the field.” Fortunately for the Blazers, the penalty didn’t cost them too much: a one-shot technical foul for the Celtics. Meanwhile, the Blazers were allowed to keep the two points; meaning they traded two points for one.

That’s not a bad strategy for a young team to use when they are trying to beat the defending world champions, something the Blazers did. By five points. Other teams that should consider the six-versus-five advantage: The Oklahoma City Thunder, Washington (even if Agent Zero every comes back), Minnesota, Sacramento, Charlotte and Memphis.

Hell, give these teams an extra draft pick so they can specifically address their sixth man needs.

Tyler Hansbrough Enforces for the Mob

Tyler Hansbrough

Because he didn’t play last night, Tyler Hansbrough had to contribute one way or another. It looks like he went for the intimidation route. This made me think: maybe he got the “Psycho T” nickname by beating those who don’t pay up into powder? I mean, that incredible pinstriped suit with the black mock turtleneck underneath certainly suggests as much. It’s pretty obvious he wore that particular suit to intimidate Kentucky.

And it worked to the tune of 28 turnovers, giving UK an incredible 53 (that’s FIFTY THREE) in two games.

53 turnovers. In two games. How does one do that?

More Snazzy Tyler after the jump >>