It is a bad economy and the NFL Lockout is a foregone conclusion. Despite the allegation of “progress” leading to this extension period, it’s very important that these NFL players take a long look at their budgets and find ways to both cut back and supplement their incomes during a prolonged NFL lockout.
With that in mind, I offer the NFL players my Top 10 NFL Lockout Money-Saving Ideas to help them manage through this difficult time.
Champagne tastes on a lockout budget?
Time to lay off of the Cristal for a while. Martini & Rossi Asti Spumante is at least 90% cheaper than the least expensive bottle of Cristal and you’ll still get just as trashed.
Lay-off the Posse.
Dudes, you know these guys are just hangers-on who are livin’ large off your hard work. You’ve seen how it’s done during the summer. It’s time to trim that roster down to say, oh… 53-men, just like NFL cuts. That’s still way more than enough lip-service telling you how great you are, how “you da’man” with a big grin and their hands out. Lose the entourage. You have enough mouths to feed with all of those children you’ve left in your wake.
By now, you’ve probably heard about New York Jets defensive back Antonio Cromartie, he of the eight children by seven different women, and his attempt to name all of his crotch fruit on HBO’s Hard Knocks. If not, watch and laugh. Understand something, I’m quite serious about Cromartie’s role as a, if not THE, spokesperson for safe, protected sex; because if you don’t, you might find yourself on HBO, struggling to remember all their names, clearly looking like an irresponsible athlete who’d rather spread their seed to all who are willing.
So yeah, the motto for the Antonio Cromartie/Safe Sex/Responsible Parenthood campaign has to be something like this: “Don’t Do What I Did: Use a Condom. Trust me, struggling to remember the names of your various children is hard work.” The acronym excites me: DDWIDUACTMS2RNVCHW, or DDWID for short.
I’d definitely wear it if it was available as a Livestrong/WWJD-type of bracelet.