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By now, you’ve probably heard about New York Jets defensive back Antonio Cromartie, he of the eight children by seven different women, and his attempt to name all of his crotch fruit on HBO’s Hard Knocks. If not, watch and laugh. Understand something, I’m quite serious about Cromartie’s role as a, if not THE, spokesperson for safe, protected sex; because if you don’t, you might find yourself on HBO, struggling to remember all their names, clearly looking like an irresponsible athlete who’d rather spread their seed to all who are willing.

In case you forgot, Cromartie had to ask for an advance from the Jets in order to square his child support bills.

So yeah, the motto for the Antonio Cromartie/Safe Sex/Responsible Parenthood campaign has to be something like this: “Don’t Do What I Did: Use a Condom. Trust me, struggling to remember the names of your various children is hard work.” The acronym excites me: DDWIDUACTMS2RNVCHW, or DDWID for short.

I’d definitely wear it if it was available as a Livestrong/WWJD-type of bracelet.

H/t to, well, everyone who posted the video, starting with Robert Littal of Black Sports Online.