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Owen Schmitt

When he’s not busy smashing his forehead into a bloody mess, Philadelphia Eagles fullback Owen Schmitt clears paths for LeSean McCoy. Just ask Shawntae Spencer of the San Francisco 49ers, who was unfortunate enough to get in Schmitt’s path of destruction. While Spencer lived to fight another play — at least, I think he did — he clearly lost that particular battle, furthering the idea that Schmitt is a destroyer of foreheads, people, planets and whatever else gets in his way.

If this is the kind of blocking available to McCoy on a weekly basis, he’d do well to treat Schmitt to a $50,000 dinner. McCoy can ask Dez Bryant about the details of restaurant bill inflation if he needs any pointers.