NFL Draft: Please Don’t Bust On Me
The NFL is having a little get together today and we’re all going to get drafted. Or not. Who will your team pick? Will said pick make it or break it while holding the reputation of your team’s scouting efforts in the palms of their newly drafted hands? Well, that’s why we’re here.
We’ll be back when the Draft starts to giving a sounding board plus all the reactions you can handle. Stay tuned. I truly hope your team doesn’t go the Tony Mandarich/Ryan Leaf route.
11:11 (CST) – We’re still about three hours from hearing Goodell call Jake Long’s name and I’ve already seen the Nike Sparq commercial three or four times. The over/under on the total number of times it’s played during anything related to the Draft on ESPN: 1 billion.
11:15 – Did Cris Carter call Vernon Gholston the best athlete at pass rusher because they share Ohio State lineage?
1:40 – After some cleaning, we’re back for the Draft. Here’s the suspected order:
Miamuh – Jake Long
St Louie – Chris Long
Hotlanta – Matt Ryan
Oaktown – Darren McFadden
We shall see.
While we wait these minutes out, here’s my contribution to Green Day , courtesy of Conan O’Brien and Radiohead.
1:45 – They are asking on ESPN if D-Mac’s background make him a risky pick. Ask Randy Moss about that.
2:00 – Hey look, we’re Drafting. There’s a lot of suspense about who the first pick’ll be. I’m betting Jake Long.
2:02 – There’s Roger. The question is will the Dolphins use the whole 10 minutes or just get the pick up there immediately. I’m hoping for the latter.
2:03 – YAY!!! They did immediately announce it. St Louis, you are on the clock.
2:05 – I’m in favor of bikini cable TV installers. Just so you know.
2:10 – Turn your ringer off, Chris Long’s mom. WTH?
2:11 – Well, Howie Long’s breakdowns of the Rams defense in the coming years should be interesting. Welcome to St Louis, Chris. So far, it’s keeping to the suspected order. Will Atlanta shake stuff up?
2:15 – Yay. A Mike Vick retrospective… Well, more of a retrospective of this past horrific year.
2:18 – Judging by the Ryan family reaction, he’s going to the Falcons. 3-for-3. It’s on you, Al Davis. If you’re smart, you better call D-Mac’s name.
2:28 – With the fourth pick, Al Davis did something smart. Darren McFadden is a freak. Absolute. If Adrian Peterson is Purple Jesus, does D-Mac become Black Jesus? He certainly has that ability.
2:33 – Wendy Nix is pretty hot. In other news, will the Chiefs trade their shot at Glenn Dorsey away? Good Heavens, that’s a big watch on Dorsey’s arm and the magnificent ESPN missed Goodell’s call while they were talking and showing that massive thing.
Nicely done. Welcome to IF’s hometown, Glenn. 810 should be going nuts about now.
2:40 – Will the New York Jets fans like any pick they get?
2:44 – Yes. Yes they did. Welcome to New York, Vernon Gholston.
2:49 – They still don’t like the Patriots though, so all is good with the world.
2:51 – The Pats trade their pick to the Saints so they can draft Sedrick Ellis out of USC, someone the Bengals really, really needed. New Orleans is now an enemy team. Meanwhile, Chris Berman just gave us an, “Oh God, yes.” Interesting.
You up, Baltimore.
2:53 – The Ravens just traded out of the 8th spot. Jacksonville is now on the clock. Mort thinks it for Hardy out of Florida.
3:00 – Finally. Jacksonville selects Derrick Harvey from the Gators. Mel isn’t happy about the pick but Herbie likes him. That’s three for the SEC in the top-10. Perhaps they really are the best conference in America.
OK CINCY, DON’T SCREW THIS UP.
Looks like Keith Rivers from USC. Him and Odell Thurman should make for an immediately improved linebacking corps. One certainly does hope.
3:07 – YAY, they didn’t screw it up. They being the Bengals. Keith Rivers REALLY needs defensive help right now… Broken record, I know.
3:13 – Jets fans are booing. That must mean the Pats are picking. Jerod Taylor. More SEC players in the top-10. 40% of it, in fact.
3:18 – The Bills go with defense as well — Leodis McKelvin. Awesome name.
3:24 – Ryan Clady. 6’6.5″, 300-plus pounds. DAMN, that’s big. He’s a Bronco now.
3:29 – I thought running backs were easy to come by. That seems to be the general consensus among the NFL talking heads? Then whey take a Johnathan Stewart if you are Carolina? Because he’s good, that’s why. Strong, fast and talented doesn’t always come along in the later rounds.
Speaking of offense, here’s a team that certainly needs some — the Chicago Bears. Gotta score to win in the NFL as well.
3:37 – And the Midway Monsters get Chris Williams, an offensive tackle from Vandy (another SEC team). 6-6, 305. WTH are they feeding people these days?
3:45 – Thus far, the Chiefs have the best draft going. By getting Branden Albert (another GIANT — 6-5 3 bills and change), they’ve addressed their offensive line problems. Well, the beginnings of it, anyway. And then there’s Glenn Dorsey. Can’t forget about him.
Next up, the never-achieving Arizona Cardinals.
3:54 – Our first three-name player, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie to Phoenix. This first round is blazing by.
4:00 – Jeez, these guys are just MASSIVE. Detroit gets themselves a right tackle in Godser Cherilus. 6-6, 3-plus. It’s astonishing when you actually consider these guys can run, jump and move with any kind of agility.
Looks like Joe Flacco is going to Baltimore, who traded up with Houston.
4:02 – And he dons the Ravens cap. Now they just have to get him somebody to distribute the ball to.
4:10 – What are the Iggles going to do? Give Donovan a weapon. Nope, they traded the pick to the Carolina to slide out of the 1st round. That should make their franchise QB happy.
Although, is their a receiver worth taking that high? The kid out of California maybe. Anyway, the Panthers, get the tackle out of Pitt, Jeff Otah. 6-6 and change, 322. WHERE are these kids… oh, never mind.
4:20 – A player from Mark Mangino’s KU team is finally taken. Aqib Talib to Tampa Bay to probably start the replace-Ronde-Barber program.
Is it ironic that Talib got drafted at 4:20 Central Standard Time — you know, being that Kansas is in the Central portion of the country.
4:29 – Depending on what the Falcons do, it looks like there are going to be a LOT of wide receivers drafted in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th rounds. The Falcons moved up trying to get a tackle to protect Matt Ryan. And Michael Turner.
Next up, the Dallas Jessicas — er, I meant the Cowboys.
4:37 – Bikini Installers Rule.
4:39 – The Cowpokes select perhaps the second-best running back in the draft — no offense John Stewart — in Felix Jones. Their offense will still shine but they need somebody besides Terrance Newman who can cover a wide receiver.
Looks like Rashard Mendenhall is going to Pittsburgh. I’ll hold my Bengals fan-voiced comments to myself.
4:44 – ESPN’s commercial break missed the Mendenhall announcement. Perhaps they should hire the SNL guys to run their live broadcasts.
4:52 – Tennessee drafts the fastest person of the NFL Combine in Chris Johnson from East Carolina. 4.24 40. Whoa. Still no wide receiver for Vince meaning there’s going to be a mad dash for them in the later rounds.
Whoa, a Shawn Fanning sighting (Napster).
5:01 – The Cowboys got a DB in Mike Jenkins from South Florida. It looks like Dallas has made really good use of their later 1st round picks.
5:11 – While we were away, Houston selected another gigantic offensive lineman and San Diego got some secondary help. Duane Brown and Antoine Cason, respectively.
5:19 – Like I said, Cable’s Bikini Installers rule:
Last two picks: San Francisco gets DT Kentwan Balmer from UNC and before that, Seattle drafted DE end from USC, Lawrence Jackson. Green Bay’s up next and they just traded it to the J-E-T-S.
5:30 – Yay, the first round is almost over and that’s where I’m stopping. The Jets just selected tight end Justin Keller from Purdue. The New York crew picks up a good defensive player and a good offensive player. Not a bad first round, but this has to be the first time a tight end was selected in the first round without a wide receiver going.
Next up, the Super Bowl Champs. And they get Kenny Phillips, safety from Miami. Welcome to some big shoes, Kenny.
First Round Impressions:
* Good job by Kansas City. Dorsey and Albert go a long way toward strengthening their offensive and defensive lines.
* D-Mac will make Oakland happy.
* No wide receivers taken in the first round. Is that a first time ever thing?
* Dallas and the Jets made good use of their picks as well.
* Cincinnati didn’t screw up their draft.
* Did I mention no wide receivers?
Enjoy the second round as well as the later ones.