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Marvin Harrison Fiction

From the slap-my-face-and-call-me-crazy files, here’s something you probably didn’t think you’d hear about on Friday — or at all. Ever. Marvin Harrison, the quiet guy from the Indianapolis Colts receiving corps, is being investigated for a shooting incident that happened outside of a bar he owns in Philadelphia.

Like you, when I first saw this, I had to check the date to make sure it wasn’t the 1st of April. The Worldwide has more:

The source said the alleged victim came into the bar, Playmakers, around 5 p.m. and engaged in an argument with Harrison, who was at the bar. The victim then left the bar, heading to his car, with Harrison following. Gunfire broke out, the victim was hit in the hand, and a young girl was slightly injured by flying glass from a car that apparently was hit by a bullet.

However, the news gets better because apparently, the bullets from the shooting matched a gun owned by Harrison; a gun that was specially made in Belgium. When asked about the gun at a Philly car washes he owns, Harrison said the gun never left his house.

The specially-made gun was then found in a bucket at said car wash. Upon testing, it was found the gun had fired several shots. And that, my friends, spells trouble for a player many thought embodied the same characteristics shared by Joe Dumars, meaning he was quiet, unassuming guy who did his job very, very well.

Now we get another picture, one that paints Harrison as someone willing to lie about a shooting in order to save himself — and not very well at that (You hid the gun in a bucket at a car wash? Really?).

In light of this news, I’m now waiting for someone to tell me A.C. Green had mad orgies while he was in the NBA, complete with photo proof.