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Along with about a zillion other unimportant topics that are shaking out of the Super Bowl, you can’t possibly have missed the “news” that was the Christina Aguilera brain fart on a single line of the National Anthem.  In the annals of National Anthem performances that have sucked, this doesn’t even make a blip at the far edges of the proverbial radar screen. It’s not like she’s a National Anthem rookie. In fact, I barely noticed until after the game because I was busy preparing my eyes and my mind to watch a great football game.

I can think of disgraceful performances by the likes of Roseanne Barr, Michael Bolton, and holy crap – world famous Olympic sprinter, Carl Lewis that will, unfortunately, be forever etched in my memory.

In the event there is a next time, I’ve taken the liberty of creating a National Anthem cheat sheet for Christina Aguilera and then everyone should put this to rest.

The National Anthem

Oh, say, can you flee, by the fawn’s burly might,

What so loudly we failed , at the Superbowl singing,

Whose brown stripes and loud farts, through the cottonous white,

Or the ram parts we watched, oh my gosh their balls are big,

Her eye-socket’s red flare, pom-poms hairspray in hair,

Gave spoofs through the night, that she bagged it on air.

O say, does that star-mangled National Anthem save

Or the band of World B. Free and the home of the gnave.

In any event… as a person who has suffered mightily from stage fright throughout his early life; be it as a speaker at a business meeting, freezing in the middle of my performance during a Merrill Reese sound-alike contest at a local automobile dealership, or as a favorite to win the spelling bee as a 4th-grader in elementary school only to choke on the word “month” in the first-round – I guess I can understand such a flub given the pressure of having tens-of-millions of people watching you at the beginning of the one of the biggest sporting events in the world.

In a world where any publicity is good publicity, the worst that will happen to Christina Aguilera is she makes the Top 10 List of Worst National Anthem performances.  However, her name will still be in the spotlight. Here is the video if you feel like actually watching it.