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Brett Favre

The groundhog known as Brett Favre announced he did in fact see his shadow and will stay underground for a few more weeks, subjecting us to more speculation — Um, why would you still be working out if you were serious about retirement, Brett? You didn’t think it was seriously over, did you? While Favre may indeed stay retired, there are signs that say “not so fast.” Maybe he just doesn’t want to go through training camp. Or maybe he is truly retired.

That’s just it. Because Favre has cried wolf just enough, it’s hard to take him at his word. For instance, check out the title of this RealClearSports postBrett Favre To Vikings: I’m Staying Retired — now, check the date of the post — May 07, 2009.

So yeah, we’ve been down this road before.

Here’s a scenario I came across while reading the comments in Big Daddy Drew’s eloquent kiss-off of Favre, which came on the heels of the “I’m staying retired” announcement. The comment is courtesy of porky1. Unfortunately, porky doesn’t have a link attached to the screen name, so this is all the credit I can give at this point. Nevertheless, I think you’ll find this prognostication sounds damn accurate:

What does The Amazing Porkwell foresee for the Vikings?

Week 1: @Cleveland. Default non-Favre QB Tavaris Jackson starts. Throws 3 INTs by halftime, pretends to tweak his ankle. Replaced by Buckshot Rosenfels, who throws 2 TDs. Vikes win. (”Coincidentally”, Purple Jesus rushes for 195 yards.)

Week 2: @Detroit. Rosenfels chucks 3 TDs in a rout of the Lions and Minnesota catches Sage Fever. Nicknames like “Purple Sage” and “Purple Jewsus” [Absolutely brilliant - Ed] are tossed about.

Week 3: 49ers. Sage throws a first possession TD but separates his shoulder during the simultaneous hit–out for 8 weeks. In comes Tavaris, who lallygags his way to 85 0/0 while AP rips the Niners for 150 and 2 TDs.

Week 4: Tavaris stinks it up on Monday Night. Management wonders whether or not he’s giving 100% since the Favre fiasco.

Week 5-6: Vikes rip Rams, squeak by Ravens. Tavaris looks terrible, but Purple Jesus is carrying the team.

Week 7: Steelers. The Vikes get their helmets jammed up their collective asses. Purple Jesus twists his ankle–continues to play, but hobbled.

Week 7, Monday morning after (Week 8 is @Green Bay.) Phone rings:

“Brad Childress speaking.”

“Dis heer Brittfarr.”

I’d be truly amazed if it happens any differently, considering all that we’ve been through with Favre.