Is There A 5-Hour Energy Curse?
We’ve all seen the 5-hour Energy commercials with either Braylon Edwards or Osi Umenyiora appearing on your TV screen, singing the praises of the 5-Hour Energy Drink and how it helps them survive the rigors of the NFL by providing that needed boost.
Apparently, it’s not on the banned substance list, either — and considering the diuretic suspensions, that has to be considered a bonus. However, there’s a troubling trend related to the 5-Hour Energy drink that rivals Sports Illustrated and the Madden covers — the NFL players sponsoring 5-hour are, well, performing poorly — or, in Umenyiora’s case, not at all.
Now, the 5-Hour curse might just have skipped Osi, considering the timing of his knee injury and all, but one has to believe these two entities were in contact before his knee crumbled. As for Braylon Edwards, 5-Hour may make increase his mental acuity, but it certainly isn’t helping him catch the damn ball — 16 dropped passes? Really?
I’m not the only one who noticed this troubling trend either.
Which leads to a question: Is there too much caffeine in the product or is Edwards just not concentrating? For what it’s worth, 5-Hour Energy doesn’t disclose the exact amount of caffeine in their product, so we’ll just have to guess about how much Edwards is ingesting. Considering the effects of too much caffeine, namely the jitters, it gives credence to the possibility.
In all likelihood, Edwards’ drops come from lack of concentration, but isn’t mental acuity one of the things 5-Hour Energy is supposed to address? So either the drink is working too well (too much caffeine), or it’s not working well enough to focus Edwards’ concentration.
While perusing the Internets looking for anecdotes related to this post, I found some amusing forum threads discussing the same thing. The bottom line: fans aren’t impressed by Braylon’s endorsement. If he’d catch the ball with a little more frequency, this might change, but until then, thoughts like the following (sic’d up for your enjoyment) permeate:
maybe he’s on a speed trip, his eyes are jittery, and he can’t look the ball into his hands…honestly, i think you can stick a fork in edwards, he’s degenerated into nothing more than a head case…and Winslow is catching his disease…dropsies…maybe they should trade edwards to Detroit, even though Millen is gone, they may need another receiver, and, since he played at Michigan, maybe he’ll feel better about playing there than in ohio…maybe he’ll drop only half what he drops now…Detroit is a mess and he’d fit in perfect…
Watch out Madden and Sports Illustrated. There’s a new curse in town.