LeBron Named King of the NBA
In an unprecedented move, NBA commissioner David Stern has announced he is abdicating and turning over the keys of the NBA kingdom to LeBron James. Witness as all future NBA issues, front office, on-court-related, or otherwise, will now go through the man they call “King James.” Stern indicated his time as the most successful NBA commissioner ever had come and it’s time to turn all operations over to the lifeblood of the league’s popularity.
State Farm, Nike, Vitamin Water, and picture-for-MySpace-takers everywhere voiced their support for the James coronation.
For his first act as King, James canceled the rest of the playoffs, in lieu of a Cleveland/Boston best-of-seven. The winner of that series automatically advances to play Kobe and the Lakers. Meanwhile, teams like Denver, Orlando, Dallas, and Houston decided they’d form an also-ran tournament, with Denver and Orlando as the top-two seeds.
This decision was approved by the new King, as he indicated the lesser teams should have something to play for as well. In case King’s resume is quite unknown to you, here’s a little taste of why Stern was so eager to turn control of his stable over to James:
James’ reign is expected to last at least until this time, next year.