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Against the Boston Celtics, Washington Wizards forward Andray Blatche demonstrated the absolute perfect way to absolutely not play pick-and-roll defense. It was so bad, in fact, it reminded me of masterful demonstration of effort and perseverance Albert Haynesworth displayed against the Philadelphia Eagles.

That is to say, none.

While Blatche’s defense (or complete and utter lack thereof) didn’t include him laying on the ground while the play went on around him, it might as well have. To say that was “Ole’ Defense” is an insult to bullfighters across the globe. In fact, calling whatever that was “defense” is an insult to anyone that’s shown one ounce of effort on a basketball court.

At any point in their lives.

I guess it’s no coincidence they both play for Washington DC franchises.

Lastly, if I were a coach — at any level, of any sport — I’d use Blatche’s demonstration as a video tutorial of How to Participate Ineffectively. I’m screening potential investors as we speak if you’d like to get in on the ground floor. One more thing: How in the hell did Rondo miss that layup? Was he so astonished by Blatche’s effort he laughed so hard, it caused him to beef the runner?

H/t to TBJ for the video of Blatche’s greatness.