Tiger Has Some Work Done On The Endoskeleton
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Proving the fact that even Terminator-like machines need maintenance as well, Tiger Woods had some arthroscopic surgery on his left knee to repair some cartilage damage… or so they say. Personally, I think it was repair some of the mechanisms that control his swing and his putting stroke, something that abandoned him at Augusta.
Being that Tiger is indeed a Terminator, I’m wondering if his procedure went something like this:
Because of his injury/scheduled maintenance session, Tiger will miss the upcoming Players Championship but he should be back to full functionality by the US Open in June, ready to continue his search for Sarah Connor — or collecting PGA Majors, depending on his programming parameters.
Tiger will remove the offending bit from his knee with a Swiss Army Knife, juggle it on the end of a driver for 60 seconds, then hit it 400 feet out of midair.
And then say something like “**** You, ***hole” while lifting up his mattress to grab his weapons so he can decimate the field at Torrey Pines.
Or something like that.
Sarah Connor does not approve.
I don’t think Reese will be able to save her this time…
“Listen. And understand. That tigernator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are choking on 3-foot putts for birdie.”
I wonder if he’s got the fazed plasma putter in the 40-watt range?
Made by Nike, of course.
[...] he hasn’t walked a full 18 since his knee surgery, Tiger Woods isn’t worried about being prepared for the US Open at Torrey Pines when it [...]