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See, what the mainstream media would have you believe is that Sergio Garcia accidentally hit the gallery member with his drive. What I believe, tin-foil hat not included, is the guy who Garcia smashed was actually a member of Garcia’s crew and he happened to massage the feet of a member of Sergio’s harem. Instead of throwing him off a balcony and through a plate-glass greenhouse, Garcia simply hit him in the head with the golf ball and knocked him on his behind, potentially giving the hired help a concussion.

That way, he can claim it was an accident and no one is the wiser.

No word on the “spectator’s” name, but I think they refer to him as “Tony Rocky Horror.” See, you think I’m joking and just playing up the Pulp Fiction angle for kicks, but after you read this little ditty, the situation becomes clearer. Notice they didn’t say why Sergio and his lover broke up. Adding it all up, it’s pretty obvious the guy who got his melon smashed by Garcia’s drive was the wedge that separated these two.

It’s either that, or Sergio just launched a piss-poor shot and the gallery member flat-out wasn’t paying attention. Now that second scenario, while much more likely than the one I’m playing around with, is awfully boring. Hell, maybe Garcia was just taking out his dislike for Tiger on an innocent bystander.

H/t to Larry Brown Sports for the find.