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Here’s his entire finely-manicured apology. I hope all of you who wanted this feel better and that you’ll be able to move on in your life. I will say, however, probably my favorite thing about this whole ordeal is watching Chad Ochocinco COMPLETELY clown Joslyn James/Veronica Daniels on Twitter. Here are some of gems:

That last one, friends, would’ve been a fantastic idea: Having the Ochocinco News Network interviewing Tiger’s mistresses. I would watch that all day, everyday.