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I’m not sure what would compel you to cheat on a woman like Cheryl Cole; maybe we’ll need to ask the Chelsea defender to see if he’d been kicked in the head beforehand. Anyway, the woman that may very well have control over a percentage of Cole’s EPL earnings is not sitting at home, crying over her husband’s brilliant choices (A hairdresser, Ashley? Really?).

And we the writers and you the readers are the beneficiary of Cheryl’s nightlife fun:

Smooth move, ace.