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Ladies, you might want to restrain yourself before reading any further.

Seriously.

All strapped in? Good. OK, here’s some news you might not expect: The savior of the known universe; AKA the best college football quarterback, maybe ever; AKA, supreme circumcision being; AKA, Tim Tebow is — wait for it — SINGLE. Thanks to Dan Shanoff’s brand-new TimTeblog, we know not only is the one they call Tebow a God among mortals, he does his miraculous deeds as a single man. I’m expecting the same kind of reaction the news of Nathan Explosion’s return to the dating scene caused.

However, instead of hot metal chicks, I think Tebow’s maniacal would-be suitors will look like this.