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Archive for December, 2010

Degenerates, New Year’s NCAA College Football Game Day is Here!

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New YearsYes, it’s an annual rite of celebration and wretched excess. When you’ve drank yourself beyond drunk and into a level of stupidity well-beyond that not seen since, well – you picked up your first drink tonight, you know it’s NCAA College Bowl Time!!!

Your body may do you a favor and knock you right on your ass before the sun comes up. Once the stench of your vomit stained clothes and urine soaked pants penetrates your nasal passages like freshly cracked smelling salts, you realize that there is barely enough time to get your crap together, grab your next beer, and head to the College Bowl Party. Here’s your NCAA College Bowl 2011 Schedule, you might want to write it down on a sticky note and put it in your pocket for when you come out of your coma tomorrow afternoon:

- TicketCity Bowl, 12-noon: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech

- Outback Bowl, 1:00PM: Florida vs. Penn State

- Capitol One Bowl, 1:00PM: Alabama vs. Michigan State

- Progressive Gator Bowl, 1:30PM: Mississippi State vs. Michigan

- Rose Bowl, 5:00PM: Wisconsin vs. TCU

- Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, 8:30PM: Connecticut vs. Oklahoma

More New Year’s football after the jump >>

The NCAA Can Stick “Excessive Celebration” Up Its Ass

While this post’s title might be a little long in the tooth, it’s perfectly fitting; and it should be noted this post is not being written by a fan of Kansas State.  Instead, this writer is a fan of common sense and fair play, and the penalty endured by Kansas State after wide receiver Adrian Hilburn saluted the crowd after he scored what may have been a game-tying score, provided the two-point conversion was taken from it’s normal position on the field.  Instead, the officials — a Big Ten crew no less — decided Hilburn’s salute, an act Webster’s defines as “to address with expressions of kind wishes, courtesy, or honor,” was in the same vein as spiking the ball in the defense’s face, or disrespecting your opponent by taking your helmet off in a “look at me, I’m the man” display of bravado.

Are you f**king kidding me?  That’s the best they can do?

The NCAA sucks after the jump >>

Shane Falco: The Best Ohio State QB Ever

Shane FalcoWith the Ohio State Buckeyes quarterback Terrelle Pryor in the news lately for his recent scandal, it’s easy to forget just how good Pryor has been. While he may not appreciate the pride of the university and the legacy of players before him, he comes from a long line of very successful Buckeye quarterbacks. Men such as Troy Smith, Joe Germaine, Craig Krenzel, and Mike Tomczak have all worn the scarlet and gray, but one name you won’t see on any “Top Buckeye QB lists” is the one and only Shane Falco.

Maybe you overlooked this former All-American. Maybe you don’t remember that he suffered an embarrassing loss in the 1996 Sugar Bowl, falling by a whopping 45 points, and earning the nickname “Footsteps” because he was too quick to dump the ball off and shied away from contact. Maybe you forgot he was drafted by San Diego and that his professional career lasted just a single season when he was unable to overcome his tendency to choke. Maybe you don’t know any of this because Shane Falco isn’t a real person. He’s just a character played by legendary Keanu Reeves in the movie The Replacements. (Thank you TBS for showing this last night…twice.)

More Shane Falco love after the jump >>

Brett Favre Fined $50,000 for Penisgate

Roger Goodell’s seemingly limitless power to levy fines against football players for transgressions real or imagined continues unabated. It would appear that Goodell is single-handedly bringing the holiday spirit of donating to charity to an unprecedented level – well into the hundreds-of-thousands of dollars. His latest donation of $50,000, made via Brett Favre’s wallet, comes at the conclusion of the much ballyhooed Penisgate.

Brett FavreSecond only in length of time to Brett Favre’s annual on-again off-again retirement drama, the investigation into the alleged sexting incident between Brett Favre and Jenn Sterger has dragged on like a high priced escort working with an ED sufferer. The alleged incident took place more than two years ago while Brett Favre was the quarterback of the New York Jets and Jenn Sterger was a sideline reporter for the team. It appears clear from the outset that Jenn Sterger was a reluctant participant in this salacious Brett Favre scandal story initially brought to light with Deadspin (gratuitous Penisgate photo at the 2:08 mark of the video). There is also little doubt that Brett Favre and his penis were even more embarrassed to have this incident broadcast across the world for all to hear, read, and well, um… see.

Still, Roger Goodell was in the untenable position of not wanting to appear as soft on this alleged violation of the NFL’s personal conduct policy, so he came and came hard by levying the $50,000 fine against the legendary quarterback. While it’s a proverbial drop in the financial bucket for Brett Favre, from my perspective, that’s an awfully steep price to pay for an encounter that didn’t even have a happy ending.

Continue reading about Brett Facre and Penisgate >>

Mike Singletary Out as 49ers Coach

Sayonara Samurai Mike Singletary. The San Francisco 49ers fired you yesterday after your team was officially eliminated from the playoff race. Your hard-nosed old-school methods just didn’t seem to work with this group of players. Of course losing Frank Gore for the season and having to choose between the two-headed Smith QB monster didn’t help your cause, but multiple confrontations with players weren’t getting you any bonuses either.

I didn’t see this coming. I really thought mooning your players would turn this team around!

Merry Christmas From The Sea Gals

Tis the season for Christmas greetings, something the sports world loves to take part in.  Take this offering from the Sea Gals, the cheerleading outfit of the Seattle Seahawks — amazingly enough — and their recitation of the The Night Before Christmas. If you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit, this should help, especially if you’re a guy. In fact, if you’re one of those last-second shopping dudes, perhaps you should use the Sea Gals as proper motivation.

It worked for me.  Especially when Rachel shows up.

More sports holiday cheer after the jump >>

See ya Zack

Zack Greinke

Zack Greinke is a Royal no longer. The experts have all weighed in. Joe Posnanski doesn’t like it, but he kinda does. Rany really likes it. Rob Neyer says it isn’t so bad.

I’m far from an expert on this, but I am an expert at being a fan. I get that playing for the Royals wasn’t fun. They lost. A lot. I’ve been there for way too many of those losses. But this sucks. I was there when we couldn’t afford Johnny Damon. I was there when Jermaine Dye was going to be too expensive. I was there to wave adios to Carlos Beltran.

Continue reading about more Royals misbehavior >>

Blake Griffin Makes Me Shake My Head

While your fearless leader continues his transition to being a Kentucky resident once again, here’s a reminder of why this blog is such a fan of Blake ****ing Griffin. The word “beast” is overused in sports, much like most adjectives in the sports world, but it if there’s ever been a walking definition of what that word means in relation to athletes and their accomplishments, Blake Griffin does just that.

More on Griffin after the jump >>