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Archive for January, 2008

Chris Berman Does NOT Like Distractions

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It looks like the golden fleece of sports-related videos has been found (via Deadspin)… I know I can’t stop watching it. While this little ditty will probably be short-lived on YouTube, it will probably go down as an instant classic. What we have is the Mount Rushmore of ESPN, Chris Berman, GOING OFF on some staffers who decided to walk in front of him during a taping.

In short, he was not amused:

Wow. That right there is HOURS of entertainment. The event is so monumental, Berman deserves one of his own silly nicknames… Maybe something like, Chris “Don’t You EVER F*** With Me” Berman.

Wushu Football

In honor of this weekend’s big football game, I thought I’d pop this incredible video found by The Beautiful Game (via The Offsides Rule) in for you enjoyment. If we see anything like this on Sunday, I’ll be impressed.

Oh wait, this isn’t the same type of football… At TBG, they indicated they loved the CGI used in the vid and that brings up a question: real or fake? It’s kind of a hard answer because the action looks like a mix of both real tricks and special effects. Anyway, whatever it is, it’s awesome.

Justin Timberlake To Ruin Another Super Bowl

Too bad I didn’t see this yesterday because it would’ve been apart of the Pathetic Super Bowl Commercials list. Apparently, it’s time for PepsiCo to stop spending exorbitant amounts of money on bad Super Bowl commercials and concentrate on making a product that can topple Coca-Cola:

I guess it’s fitting that he was being pulled closer as the girl kept sucking on her straw. Memo to Pepsi: STOP MAKING SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS.

Hat-tip to on205th.

Paying Your Football Debts

If you are going to bet against the Patriots (NSFW), I wouldn’t use the Miami Dolphins as a team that can beat them…

Hat-tip to CO-ED Magazine.

Intentional Upset: Kansas Goes Down

Micheal BeasleyWhen Kevin Durant won last year’s NCAA Player of the Year award, it was the first time ever a freshman had done so. Now, it looks like a freshman might win the award in back-to-back fashion as Kansas State’s Michael Beasley EASILY looks like the best player in college basketball and after last night’s 84-75 win over rival Kansas, these thoughts have only been solidified.

Not only did K-State’s epic win put Beasley at the forefront for accolades, more importantly, it ended one of the oddest streaks going in sports. You see, the Wildcats haven’t beaten Kansas in Manhattan in 24 years.

Now, K-State has beaten the Jayhawks in this time period, just not on their home court. Now the streak’s over and guess what, the Wildcats fans were simply ecstatic; much like you’d be if your team just broke an incredibly weird losing streak.

Leading the way for the Wildcats was, of course, Mr. Everything, Michael Beasley. Stifled by a collapsing defense, Beasley took his game to the perimeter and finished with 25 points while going 4-4 from the 3-point line. The next Player of the Year was backed by Bill Walker’s 22 points and Jacob Pullen’s 20.

Read more about the KU upset »

The 5 Most Pathetic Super Bowl Commercials

The Super Bowl is Sunday and you know what that means: No, not football. That’s a given. No, Super Bowl Sunday is for the incredibly expensive commercials shown during the game. In fact, if you do the math, you’ll find a 30-second Super Bowl spot ($2.7 million) is more expensive than making a movie. Think about it, if it cost you $5.4 million per minute of the movie’s running time, a 90 minute movie would cost $486,000,000.

So, for the amount of money these companies are spending, you’d expect these production values to be really high and while that’s mostly the case, a well-produced commercial doesn’t mean it’s going to be any good—at all.

With that in mind, we’d like to present five videos that capture the essence of PATHETICALLY BAD SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS. You may find most of these are from recent years and rightfully so. As the American level of taste has depreciated, so has the quality of its entertainment. Commercials are no different, as you’ll soon see:

1. Puff Daddy’s Pepsi Truck

Dude, this is just terrible. Come on Pepsi, you are one of the biggest companies in the world. Can’t you come up with something a little better than a tricked-out delivery truck and Sean Combs? Surely you can.

2. Flomax

OK Flomax folks, when watching an important football game, guys (the intended demographic, don’tcha think?) don’t really want to hear about problems related to urinary functions — or semen decrease for that matter. Save this shit for the day AFTER the Super Bowl. It won’t be near as expensive.

3. GoDaddy

You know, I like half-naked WWE women wrestlers appearing before Congress as much as the next guy. In fact, I think we could use a little more of that in our commercials. What I don’t like are commercials that try to be risqué for the sake of being risqué. Right, GoDaddy? Not even the hot chick at the end could save this debacle. Now granted, this was banned from the Super Bowl, but the attempt was made to use it, hence the appearance in the list.

4. Christopher Reeve’s Nuveen Investments Commercial

This was shown during the 2000 Super Bowl and guess what? Apparently, nothing boasted about in this commercial in relation to Reeve worked. He died in 2004. Bonus: The CGI effects makes Reeve look like the Frankenstein monster. Nicely done all the way around.

5. Britney Spears Pepsi Ad

Wow, Pepsi makes another appearance; this time with a Britney Spears music video masquerading as a commercial. Even when she wasn’t imitating the Amy Winehouse look, this girl couldn’t vocalize worth a lick. Does that even qualify as singing? In her heyday, Britney was someone that’s better seen and not heard. If they wanted to use Britney and the “sex sells” angle, they should’ve done it like this.

After going through all that, all I can say is I want my “Where’s The Beef” commercials back.

Intentional Upset: Johan Santana To The Mets

Johan SantanaNo, this little event is not exactly a “sports upset” per se, but the news Santana would be leaving the Twin Cities certainly was upsetting, especially for one particular blogger. Santana was traded to the New York Mets yesterday and pending the acceptance of a long-term contract, it looks like Johan has pitched his last game in Minnesota as the Twins fell victim to Major League Baseball’s business as usual method.

Because of some unfortunate labor agreements, smaller market teams like the Twins (who were once asked to be contracted, lest we forget) are having a hard time keeping their “home grown” stars when said star gets close to free agency. The idea, because these “lesser” franchises don’t have the disposable income the big market teams do, is to trade these stars before their free agent period in order to get some value in return.

And that’s exactly what happened with Santana and the Twins. However, did the Twins get anything in return for trading MLB’s best pitcher? No, not really. Over at Babes Love Baseball, Sooze has a great write-up on the prospects the Mets had to give up for Santana and to put it mildly, she doesn’t seem that impressed:

Wait… who? Exactly. Congratulations, Mets fans. Apparently, Bill Smith was bribed threatened convinced that those four — a motley crew, as Mel called them — added up to one Johan Santana. Let’s just say I hope there’s some cash thrown into the mix, and at least the Twins will only have to face him during Interleague Play.

As you can see, the excitement is overwhelming. At Twins Geek, there’s much more in this vein:

The package that the Twins got from the Mets illustrates this. Carlos Gomez and pitchers Phil Humber and Kevin Mulvey are duplicates of half of a dozen pitchers in the Twins organization. Deolis Guerra might be special, but hasn’t made it anywhere near the upper levels of the minors. And it isn’t clear that Carlos Gomez, who headlines the package, is a significantly better prospect than Jason Pridie. He’s certainly not someone that Twins can count on before 2009.

So what does this do for the Mets? Are they now the favorite to come out of the National League? Well, if they can avoid season-ending collapses… If you looking for reactions from Mets fans, check out the MetsBlog and the NY Post’s Mets blog.

As for me, this little episode personifies why I’m still at odds with MLB. Smaller franchises shouldn’t have to be punished just because a prospect came up from the organizational ranks and turned out to be a stud, only to ship him off the market with the most money.

People Can Really, Really Suck

Saw this over at WithLeather and after reading, I don’t know what I’m more disgusted by: Jerramy Stevens or this pathetic Packer fan who decided to take his drunken frustrations out on innocent bystanders:

Why would anyone gun down a random women in a drive-thru? Until now, few knew. Multiple sources shed light on the shocking evidence. Evidence, that the Green Bay Packers losing playoff performance, could be one of many things that motivated Kyle Bormann to allegedly kill Brittany Williams.

Picking up dinner for her father, Brittany Williams dies in a drive-thru. Eight-thirty on January 20th, a bullet rips through her car, killing her instantly. Police say Kyle Bormann pulled the trigger on a high-powered rifle one hundred yards up 30th Street from the Florence fast-food restaurant…

For his (alleged) disgusting, selfish, childish actions, Bormann faces life in prison or the death penalty… I know which one I’m hoping for.